Are You Easily Offended?

Have you ever seen those lists of irrational offenses toddlers take when “mistreated” by their parents? I can’t help but laugh when I read through them. Here are just a few:

•  “Our daughter cried because she didn’t get to go to her parents’ wedding — seven years before she was born.”

• “From the backseat, my enraged toddler sobbed, ‘He’s looking out my window!’ He was mad because his brother was looking out of ‘his’ window instead of the other one.”

• “My son wanted me to wrap him like a burrito for bed. I did, but he was upset that I wrapped him like a bean burrito, crying, ‘I want to be a chicken and rice burrito!'”

• “My daughter lost it because she wanted a twin sister (she has a twin sister).”

• “My wife is four months older than I am, and my 4-year-old daughter got upset because she wanted me to be older than my wife.”

Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a new friend who has been attending our church for about six months now. She told me for some time, God has impressed on her heart that she should come and talk with me and offer her gift of encouragement to the women at LifeHouse. Recounting her own journey through heartbreak and disappointment, she told me God has been teaching her that one of our greatest obstacles to His peace and joy is that we are so easily offended. She went on to say that she desires to help women who struggle, as she once did, to untangle themselves from the weight of expectations of others so that they can be free to walk with Jesus and experience His love that surpasses all expectations.

Just last week, another friend came to me and told me that God had been doing a deep work in her heart. She wondered why God wasn’t opening doors for ministry opportunity – why she felt stuck. Pulling back layers of hurt, frustration, and disappointment, He revealed that He could not work in and through her because she harbored bitterness in her heart. She expressed that He would not take her farther without making things right. The tragedy of it all is that the offense had mainly been hurting her all along. In the end, she testified to the great work of grace the Lord had been doing. He desired her freedom and would not let things rest until He set her free from bitterness. What a gracious, loving Savior!

We are so easily offended. 

But my question is, 

“Is there room in the life of a believer to be offended?” 

“As Christ-followers, do we have that right?”

This morning my Bible reading plan took me to Matthew 26 and the days leading up to Christ’s death on the cross. Let me give you the cliff notes on this story, along with some observations on how I probably would have reacted if I were in Jesus’ place.

The chapter starts with Jesus telling the disciples to go and prepare the Passover meal because His time was at hand to be delivered over to death.  

Here at the same time, we see Judas making his deal with the devil and betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. What’s worse is that he met with religious leaders of the day, not some godless Roman officials – no, those masquerading as holy men.  

My probable response: How offensive! Judas walked with me for all this time. He’s seen my heart. I’ve never given him reason to do something like this! And these chief priests, acting as if they know my Father yet denying me. How twisted! I can’t believe Judas even has the nerve to show up for dinner.

Before dinner with his companions, the 12 disciples, Jesus washes their feet. What a humble act of love! Not moments later, He says to them that one would betray him.

My probable response: I know what Judas did. I know he holds a bag of silver. I know what I’m about to face. I look around the room and my friends seem oblivious. I can’t really think of eating right now. I’m always there for them; shouldn’t they be picking up on my distress? I’m not asking for the world, just some understanding!

Upon hearing of the betrayal, Peter speaks up and says in verse 33 – “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” He goes on to say he would die before denying Jesus. At the end of verse 35, we see all the disciples declare the same.  

My probable response: Are these empty promises? Actions speak louder than words! Let’s see how you all respond when the time of testing comes!

Next, we see Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane with all but Judas. By this time, Judas had gone to make good on his agreement with the chief priests. He would lead them to Jesus for his arrest. 

My probable response: What a snake! Hope he enjoys that silver!

Jesus, now in anguish, tells his friends to stay and keep watch. He calls his closest three to go a little farther with Him and watch and pray. He then gets alone to pour His heart out to God. In the deepest agony of his earthly life, He sweats great drops of blood. He returns three times to find His close friends sleeping.  

My probable response: Are you kidding me? Can’t the people who know me best support me now? I’m facing the most trying time in my life, and not one of them gets it? I told them this would happen – that I would die. Do they even care?! So much for friendship!

In verse 56, when the arrest was going down and things got messy, we read that “ALL THE DISCIPLES left Him and fled.”

My probable response: Wow, is it too much to ask for just one to stand with me? Everyone is gone? Not one stayed to stand at my defense?!

In verses 69-75, we see Peter following at a distance. Moments later, he does what he promised he wouldn’t. He denies Jesus three times. Remember, this is while Jesus, in His innocence, is standing trial and facing false accusations. 

My probable response: How can these people charge me so unfairly? I’ve done nothing wrong. And there he goes – Peter is saying he never knew me. I told him he would. Empty promises!

Offense piled on offense!

I continued into chapter 27 as the picture expands. Jesus, just one week prior, had been lauded as the Messiah. We call it the triumphal entry to Jerusalem. The people praise Him. They shout, “Hosanna! Hosanna! Glory in the highest!” But here, seven days later, they chant, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him! And let His blood be on us and our children!”  

My probable response: My goodness! What an extreme 180! These people are even bringing their children into their hate and betrayal of me. They never really loved me. They never really had hearts follow me! I came here for them! None of this was for me! And here, as I stand trial, they charge me falsely. I don’t know what’s worse, being slandered or betrayed. The authorities can’t even find any fault in me.

Continuing in chapter 27, Jesus is mocked, stripped, beaten, and lead away to a cross. All the while, He never pleaded His case. He never declared or defended His innocence. Isaiah 53:7 says, “He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so He opened not his mouth.”

My probable response: I am innocent! I am going to the cross for people who hate me. This was a bad idea. How can people live with themselves after sending an innocent man to his death? Why in the world would I ever do anything kind for them? They should get what they deserve. It would be reasonable for me to die and sacrifice myself for them if they showed a little gratitude. But this is just unacceptable. I’m all done with them.

Below His cross, soldiers cast lots for his garments. The criminals hanging next to him revile him along with the others. (V 44)

Friend, I can’t comment on what I might have felt at that moment because, frankly…I wouldn’t have made it this far.

But what is the heart of Jesus after ALL the betrayal, ALL the false accusations, ALL the hate, ALL the beatings, ALL the shame and suffering?!

Luke 23:34 gives the account of Jesus crying out to God. This is what He said,

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

What?!?!

Jesus! Why would You say that???

Look at all the offense! 

Look at all the injustice!  

Look at all the broken promises!

But there Jesus hangs between heaven and earth, suspended on a cross. 

PINIMAGE

The rulers stood watch and scoffed at Him, saying, “He saved others. Let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!”

You know what? Want to know the answer to their question? Want to know why He didn’t save Himself?

Jesus didn’t save Himself that day because He was saving them!

Let that sit for a minute.

He did it for them. And He did it for us!

Friend, perhaps you harbor bitterness in your heart. In light of all that Jesus endured, our offenses sound a lot like the ones we read above. Let’s look at our offenses once again through the lens of the cross.   

I close today with a passage a friend sent me yesterday that gives us some clarity in a world so easily offended.

‘Twas I that shed the sacred blood;

I nailed him to the tree;

I crucified the Christ of God;

I joined the mockery.

Of all that shouting multitude

I feel that I am one;

And in that din of voices rude

I recognize my own.

Around the cross the throng I see,

Mocking the Sufferer’s groan;

Yet still my voice it seems to be,

As if I mocked alone

Horatius Bonar (1808-89)

I am guilty.

So are you.

Do we have any right at all to be offended?

Maybe it’s time to repent. Perhaps it’s time to take responsibility for our own sin. Let’s turn our eyes to Jesus, suspended on the cross. Let’s worship and praise Him for the grace and mercy that poured out with His blood for you and for me.

He was not offended. Nor should we be.