Tammy on Tuesday »

Have you ever played Sudoku? It’s a puzzle of numbers that requires deductive reasoning to solve. I would like to think I am quite good at using deductive reasoning and should be good at solving these puzzles. But I’m not. The puzzles are rated easy, medium, hard, and very difficult.  

Every time I work on a puzzle, I think to myself, “There must be something I’m missing because I can’t seem to graduate to the next level.” Come to find out; there’s a science behind the different levels of Sudoku. Some day I might explore that science, but for now, I enjoy playing and feel fulfilled when a puzzle is solved. 

I found out something interesting about this game. Want to know what the highest, most challenging level of Sudoku is? Miracle Sudoku. I suspect this category is for a Sudoku elite master because it would take a miracle to solve it. But I’ll come back to this. 

I’ve been thinking about famous artists, like Michelangelo. He was a brilliant artist who mastered poetry, sculpting, and painting. His works are world-renown. Think about this:

Historians say

It took almost a year to sculpt “Pieta.”

It took over two years to sculpt “David.”

It took four to five years for the artist to paint the Sistine Chapel.

The length of time it took to complete his many works didn’t reflect his incompetency as an artist. It reflected his genius and forethought. People didn’t question his artistic skills because the work was long and tedious. Could you imagine if, as the work dragged on, people began to doubt his artistic ability?  

Don’t be silly. It was Michelangelo. He was an artist. Art was what he did, and he did it with genius. Onlookers were eager to see his talent poured out in colors and imagery, and his works didn’t disappoint. The artwork on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel took the longest and was the most remarkable display of the artistry of Michelangelo. It could be said it was his greatest accomplishment. 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about 2022, wondering what it would hold, what I want to ask God for. Then my thoughts turned to the people I’ve been lifting in prayer, people whose lives need a touch from the Lord. Honestly, when considering the waywardness of some, I’ve been tempted to give up. There’s that nagging question in my mind, “Are they just too far gone? I’ve been praying for them for years, and I’ve seen no softening to the Gospel.” They seem like a “tough case.” Maybe “too tough?”

A few days ago, while considering this very thing, I felt God impress something profound on my heart in regard to His masterful work. 

Isaiah 61:1, Isaiah prophesied of the work Jesus would come to do for mankind.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me (Jesus) because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.”

• Jesus came to bring good news to the poor.

• Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted.

• Jesus came to proclaim liberty to captives.

• Jesus came to open the prison for those who are bound.  

He set captives free

from poverty of soul

from grief and despair

from all forms of bondage.

He. Sets. Captives. Free.

It’s what He does. 

So instead of doubting the possibility of God’s work in a loved-ones life, wouldn’t it make more sense, when the work is long, and the waiting continues, to believe He’s doing some of His most extraordinary work? Why would any artist not want to display their artistry to the fullest? 

Why do we limit the Lord? No matter how hopeless the situation, no matter how many locked doors stand between Him and the imprisoned, He can break through. He can set them free. It’s what He does. It’s what He loves to do.

Don’t doubt the Master. Those wandering the farthest from Him provide the greatest opportunity to show His strength. And, friend, if you’re burdened to pray for them, He’s invited you to be a part of His work through your prayers. Don’t give up! Don’t stop praying.  

The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5:16b

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

Luke 19:10

12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.

Matthew 18:12-13

5But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:5-6

Friends, Christ is not limited in any way in the redemption of souls. He’s not stuck on the intermediate level of difficulty. It seems we have no problem believing He will work when conditions seem doable. And maybe you’re saying just now, “Yeah, but this would take a miracle!” That’s good news because He’s the Miracle Worker (remember the mention of Miracle Sudoku). He’s the Master Artist. Nothing is too hard for Him. He can do it. It’s what He does.

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

Think about your loved one. Renew your commitment today to pray earnestly for their deliverance and trust the work of Master. He is working. He is setting captives free. 

Because it’s what He does.

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I have a friend. She’s someone I have learned a great deal from. We have enjoyed wonderful conversations about the Lord. We’ve read books and discussed them. We’ve strengthened each other, prayed for each other. We’ve been the voice of truth to each other in times of confusion. And, over the past several years, I’ve watched her walk through a long season of darkness and pain.  My heart aches for my friend. Frankly, my heart aches period.

Christ-followers often talk about the importance of walking in faith; trusting God in darkness when we face trials and troubles of our own. Trials have not been uncommon in my life. Some of them threatened to suffocate me. And somehow God rescued me from every single one!

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.

Psalm 34:18-19

But as I walk alongside her, I realize another aspect of my Christian faith is very important – the importance of guarding my heart and trusting God when I see those I love suffer in ways I don’t understand.  

The purpose of my blog today is meant for those who are in a prison of some sort which God, in His sovereignty, has allowed. But I am also throwing in a charge for those of us called to walk beside them in their darkness. Here it is:

• This is a divine appointment. Your words are not meant to be just your opinion. The only words that matter are the truth.
• Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.
• Don’t let your sympathy for your loved one’s struggle turn your heart FROM God. Let it turn you to Him.
• Pray for your friend or loved one like it’s your job. (I say that a lot, but it’s crucial.)
• Realize you have a place in the story if God has brought you together. 
• When they cannot see, you must guide them by the hand to the Light.
  • When they cannot hope,
  • When they cannot pray,
  • When they cannot understand,
  • God has given you the honor to stand in the gap.
• Pity and questioning God for the suffering of your friend only sabotage the process.  
• He has provisions. He will supply their every need and yours but you must decide to believe. 
• Finally, as a friend once said, stop asking God why and start asking what.  “God, what can I do to be Jesus to my friend in this dark season of the soul?”

Okay, now to the topic I want to address today. The truth is that even though you love God and walk with Him, prison is sometimes part of the plan.  

What in the world do I mean? Should we all go to prison? No. I’m talking about emotional and circumstantial prison bars.  A confinement perhaps we don’t see coming or that has lingered on for far too long.

Are there bars over your heart or life in some way?

Have you grown hopeless that might ever get out of the prison of this particular set of circumstances?

Maybe the WHOLE of your life feels like a prison. 

I want to clarify here. Some have knowingly erected prison walls of sin in their lives. That is a different matter for another blog post. Today I am writing to the Believer who is seemingly doing everything you can to walk with, obey and seek the Lord, but you find yourself in a prison cell you don’t understand? I hope to encourage you with the following words.

I just finished reading the story about Joseph in the book of Genesis. (Genesis 37-50). I know the story well, and the many times I read it, I always thought of Joseph as someone who took lemons and made lemonade. Let’s just say he made ALOT of lemonade in his life. He rose to the top in every difficult situation he faced. He was a man of integrity who continually sought the Lord and walked with Him. In the past, I focused on Joseph’s successes. But this time, as I read through, I saw the humanity and the heavy emotions that Joseph (who seemed to conquer every obstacle without breaking a sweat) actually carried. 

I took note of the times he wept. I tried to imagine what it must be like to live a life being blatantly mistreated, falsely accused, and forgotten. I underlined verses that indicated how devastating this journey must have often felt to him.  

Take this verse, for instance. Joseph’s jealous brothers said, many years after they betrayed Joseph, “We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen.” Their actions haunted them throughout their lives.

Another indicator of the depth of the pain Joseph endured was in the names he chose to give his sons, Ephraim and Manasseh. I’ll share the meaning in a few moments. 

What’s the point? This story is in the Bible so that we can see God’s victory for us in hopeless situations. But there’s more to it. Could it be that these long dark seasons of the soul, like we see in Joseph’s life, are meant as opportunities for God to reveal His personal care and intimate love for us? For you, Reader? To take us so deep into a trust relationship with Him that the trials don’t really matter or at least don’t have power over us.

These prison bars are not meant to show a God somewhere far away on His thrown pointing a magic wand in our direction to set us free from our “circumstantial prison cells” They are to show us a God who gets up from His throne and comes to us, to sit with us in our prison, and carry us when we have no strength.

Yesterday I texted my friend to encourage her with something God showed me from His Word. I’m sharing it with you today.  

You were the first thought on my mind when I woke up this morning. I just sat down to spend time in prayer before I begin my quiet time, and I opened my prayer journal to October. 

Earlier this month, I wrote down Genesis 39:21 under my scripture prompt. \

“But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love.” 

Genesis 39:21

Read that slow a couple of times. I did. It got me thinking.

Couldn’t all-powerful God simply release him from prison? Wasn’t it in God’s power to bring to light Potiphar’s wife’s selfish schemes – justice for Joseph? But He didn’t. 

The verse says, “the Lord was WITH Joseph in prison.” God is not bound by the prison bars. Joseph is. And God went IN to the prison with him. 

It’s peculiar that an all-powerful God, who answers to no one and can do all, DIDN’T set Joseph free. He CHOSE to be WITH him in the prison. But there’s more. 

I got stuck on another seeming contrast in words, “God showed His faithful LOVE. ..in the prison.” Isn’t that an irony?!

It doesn’t say –

• His faithful power.
• His faithful wisdom. 
• His faithful justice. 

I would guess, if asked, Joseph would’ve chosen justice perhaps. I think I would. “God! Vindicate me!”

But no. He did something else. He showed him His Love.

He showed him His love, 

not as a consolation to the fact that His hands were tied. 

And not because He couldn’t do anything more. 

THIS was the more.  

This WAS God’s provision.

His ways are mysterious! I don’t understand them. 

But I’m asking God to make His presence and love especially known to you today in this prison. 

I wanted to mention once again the names Joseph gave his sons:

Manasseh – God has made me forget all my troubles

Ephraim – God has made me fruitful in the land of my grief.

I’m praying, friend. I’m asking for God to redeem each heartache, each tear, each moment. 

I love you and I’m praying!

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Last evening, I spent time visiting on our back deck with the newlyweds – my precious Abby, and her wonderful husband, Jarvis. It was just the three of us and with the wedding and honeymoon now behind them, we were talking about what’s next.

Well, I’ll tell you what’s next. Next will be my temptation to give them all the advice I can to secure for them the best start to this new chapter:

• Don’t ignore each other when you’re angry. It’s just a waste of time.
• Your house is a reflection of your heart. If it’s always a mess, grab your Bible before you grab a broom.
• Make your bed every morning.
• Take the Dave Ramsey “Financial Peace” course now while you’re young. You’ll thank me later.

You know I could go on and on, but, for the sake of time, I will stop there. I have actually prayed that God would help me to refrain from constantly giving them “helpful” advice. I know I’m at risk of being “that mom.” Ugh!

Understanding my tendency to “advise,” I have decided there is only one thing I will not cease to speak of and that is the faithfulness of God.

6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Let’s go back to my conversation with them on the back deck last night. What’s Next? Where would God lead? What did He want for this new chapter? We talked for quite a while about these questions and I had a heavy realization as a parent that I shared with Mark later.

I told him, “This is the start of their journey. Think about all the trials we’ve been through and all God has done for us! Watching them experience joys and sorrows will probably be harder than going through them ourselves.”

So what’s a parent to do as you watch your children journey through the difficulties of this life? Give incessant advice? I’ll tell you what I plan to do. Pray. Pray. Pray. Oh, and pray, pray, and pray some more.

This morning, I was praying for them and asking God to help them to trust Him, to look to Him, and to follow Him. And from my quiet time, God spoke a message I began to type out to them in a text…a long text. This is the text I sent them this morning:

The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, 18 seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”  Genesis 18:17b-19

This morning I was praying for you both and I was excited as I considered the wonderful works of God.  In my quiet time, I came upon the passage you just read. God had just come to Abraham in the previous verses and told him that the time had come to give them a son and that Abraham would be the father of many nations.  Sarah (now 90 years old) was in the tent and she laughed “to herself.”  No one else knew what she was thinking EXCEPT for the Lord. We see Him asked her point-blank, “Why did you laugh at this?”

I got to thinking about what was behind her “laughing to herself.”  Yes, she was beyond child-bearing age but more than that she had endured years of infertility.  Think of the shame she must’ve dealt with (in those days it was a huge deal to be infertile).  By this time, she had probably come to grips with being “faulty/broken/‘less than’.” To hope for a child now might’ve seemed ridiculous and dangerous to her wounded and perhaps now calloused heart.  Maybe even the suggestion of having a child now seemed like an insensitive offer from God.  Science said it was too late – because of her age and her infertility.  But science originated with God.  In response to her laughter, He said to her, “Is anything impossible with God?”

Also, don’t forget.  The first time God told Abraham he would have a son was when he was 75 years old.  Twenty-five years had passed.  Maybe she was laughing because this was a promise that was a long time coming. Maybe she wondered if was an empty promise.  “Here we go again.”

So we see an old couple.

We see an infertile woman.

We see an unfulfilled promise.

Not the best of circumstances.

Guys, often it’s when the circumstances seem the bleakest to us that God steps in.  It is then that we know the way forward is only by His power and plan – not our charisma, not our skills or talents, not our efforts. Just God.

So let me get to the point.  Just after the whole scene where God says “You will have a son,” and addresses Sarah’s heart, He then asked the question, “Should I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?”  

During my quiet time, I felt urged to jot in my journal a word of encouragement for the two of you and I’m finally getting to that:

Can God trust you with His plan? Can He reveal to you the path He plans to take you on and trust that you will walk with Him in joyful communion no matter the twists and turns?  

Think about it, to this point Abraham and Sarah had simply been waiting for a son. They hadn’t yet seen how much more God would unfold to them.  Would they trust Him now after years of waiting?  Was God’s timing off?  Was He careless in the fulfillment of it?  From man’s perspective, I am sure these questions came.  But what was God’s perspective?

What was it that God saw in Abraham and Sarah?

19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”  

Jarvis and Abby, I have no doubt that God’s hand is on you both.  You are one flesh and He has singled you out for a divine purpose.  But it requires fully trusting Him.  Does the Lord have to hide from you what He is about to do because He is still waiting for you to trust Him fully?  He will continue to bring you into His promises for you.  He is a faithful God. And while He does, He will pour out on you His continual love and mercy, His fellowship and presence.  And I am excited to see what that divine purpose will look like as it unfolds in the chapters of your life.  But joy doesn’t have to come only when the promise is fulfilled. He promises the joy of His presence on the journey with those who are willing to trust and follow Him.

He walks with the willing – all hopes and plans on the table.

I am praying for you both and I have asked others who love you dearly to pray with me.  We are cheering you on.  You are kingdom warriors.  Rise up and go with God. 

Whatever each day holds…see the big picture – see a big God.

I love you.

In less than two months, my baby girl (my firstborn) will be getting married! Now I’m going to say all the things that parents say, 

“Where did the time go?!”

“She’s still my baby.”

“Don’t blink.”

But seriously…where did all the time go?

At the start of our marriage, Mark and I would talk about how many children we wanted, what we envisioned our family would look like – all the questions and dreams you plan for yourself. You get the idea. 

But when I found out I was pregnant for the first time, (I can still see the moment in my mind’s eye when the line appeared on the pregnancy test and my disbelief that I was actually pregnant.) I immediately began to worry about the possibility of having a girl.  

It pains me to say it, but at 29, when I shared the news with my co-workers and friends that I was expecting, they lightheartedly joked, “YOU! Having a baby?!” They knew I was always toiling over the project at hand and immersed in my work, keeping a hectic pace. I guess I didn’t give off the “motherly” vibe. I often wondered to myself if I would make a good mom.  

I can’t say precisely why having a girl scared me more than a boy. I used to say, “Boys love their mommas, but girls don’t always.” I’d seen mothers and daughters go head-to-head and have lifelong strife. So I wondered to myself if I had a girl, would she hate me?

I’d find out soon enough because, before long, we learned we were having a baby girl.  

Beautiful Abby-Jane.  

The birth story was a crazy one. Abby was in the NICU, and I was very sick. We both needed medical intervention. But I felt that early struggle knit us together. We were going to get through this – my little girl and me. I learned right out of the gate the lengths a mother would go to fight for her child.

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Several weeks after Abby was born, the hospital released us to go home. I remembered thinking, “So we get to just take this baby out of the hospital and leave? We are in charge of it? No nurses?” We were both on edge as we drove home really, really slow.  

I was pleasantly surprised to see Mark’s attentiveness to Abby, and I knew right away he would be an amazing dad. He even made up a song to sing to her when he would rock her to sleep. It was to the tune of Edelweiss. He sang it over and over through the years.

“Abby Jane, Abby Jane, she is our little girl.  

Small and bright, cute and nice.  

She is our little girl.

Blossom and go,

won’t you bloom and grow,

bloom and grow forever.”  

Abby Jane, Abby Jane, she is our little girl.”  

Mark’s song for Abby

And she did grow!

On August 27, Abby will marry a wonderful young man who loves the Lord, and they will begin their own life together.

It seems odd to write a blog post that jumps from birth to marriage, but that’s just how it went – a blink of an eye, and here we are.

So I’ll give you the cliff notes on lessons Mark and I learned in the past 21 years and continue to try to remember.

Parenting tip #1: PRAY. A lot! Like it’s your job. Because it is. It’s the one thing I know I did 100% right. I prayed. Do your best to surrender your kids to God in prayer and to ask Him to have His way in their lives. By the way, it’s never too late to begin.  

Parenting tip #2: Don’t expect all the life-changing experiences in your life – those experiences that moved you toward God and enriched your relationship with Him – to be the ones He uses to draw them to Himself. It doesn’t have to be the same college, the same career, the same…anything. In fact, God enjoys variety, and He never has to write the same story twice. Trust me, I know. God spent most of Abby’s growing-up years teaching me this lesson.  Instead of insisting they have a plan for their future, urge them to be asking God where He’s leading them and then wait on Him.

Parenting tip #3: Live what you want your kids to learn. Kids sniff out hypocrisy like a dog on a hunt, and they want no part of it. In case you didn’t know, they will become who you are, like it or not. 

Parenting tip #4: Learn to surrender your children to the Lord fully and then learn to trust Him even when you can’t see the plan. The sooner you stop controlling your children, the sooner they will realize important decisions are up to them, and they will need to choose wisely. That’s when they will look at you and ask (remember parenting tip #2.), “What would my parents do?” Then, depending on their view of you, they will make their choice to follow your lead or do the opposite. If you’ve surrendered them to the Lord, even when things get hairy and times get hard, you can rest in the fact that He is working.

Parenting tip #5: It’s okay to often feel like a failure. I certainly have. But the redeeming factor is Christ. He redeems – not only lost people but lost opportunities. He delights to answer when we cry out to Him in desperation. It’s only by the grace of God that my kids are who they are. It’s only His goodness to me in giving me the wisdom at just the right time to do the right thing. And when I fail, I’ve learned to admit it to them. Admitting failure lets my kids off the hook in thinking they need to be perfect. (I refer back to tip #1 – just pray and keep praying!)  

Parenting tips #6: When I snap at my kids, react in anger to them, or feel constant tension with them, it’s usually just fear. So, when fear rises up in me, I do my best to address it as soon as possible. I often find that the fear I am experiencing is actually an area I am trying to control because I lack trust in God and His power. When I realize this, I turn my fear into prayer and wait on Him to work. The bottom line is that He is our only hope. He is my only hope that I won’t blow it as a parent, and He is the only hope for my kids as they navigate their lives.

So here we are. Our baby girl is getting married. Mark told me he lives with a constant knot in his throat. We cry at random moments lately, finding a new need to surrender and release what we love.   

Last weekend, we held a bridal shower to celebrate Abby, and we included all her favorite things to eat: cotton candy, dill pickles, salt n vinegar chips, pretzel salad, charcuterie. While we celebrated, I spoke a blessing over Abby, and we gathered around and prayed over her. I did it for her, yes, but for me too – to remember that she is God’s first. Always has been. This shower was our reminder to release her into God’s care.

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Mark added another verse to his song and my niece Gracie recorded it. We put it to video and shared it at the shower. Today, I want to share it with you. I think it speaks my heart better than I could with words.  

I pray today’s post gives you something to think about, but I pray it gives you hope more importantly. Parenting is one of the most challenging things to do, second only to letting them go.  

Go on, Abby-Jane. Go and change the world.