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PINIMAGEI’ve been reading a book by A W Tozer called The Fire of God’s Presence. It’s had a powerful impact on me, and I believe the greatest takeaway thus far is the reality of my lack of understanding the fear of the Lord: reverence, holiness, awe, lordship. Do I serve the Lord as King of Kings? Do I give Him the highest place in my life? Do I worship the God of the Bible or a watered down version that suits me? I realize that this lack of fully understanding God’s majesty permeates not only my day-to-day, but it affects the hardest thing I’ve ever done – parenting.
My kids are inundated with worldly messages through social media, television, and more. The enemy seeks to make his way in subtlety, like the thief that he is, to steal from them true life, joy, fulfillment, and peace. And at the same time, he seeks to convince them that God is okay with a causal pursuit of Him. He lies and tells them there is plenty of time to do business with God. They have their whole lives ahead of them. Now it’s time to have a little fun. Surely God understands. Oh, that they would continually taste and see that the Lord is good.
I’m convicted. Do things like what I say in my home, what I watch on TV, and how I live my life speak to my awareness of God’s majesty and glory? Mark and I feel the weight of shepherding our children’s hearts not only in word but in deed. If I don’t “get” reverence, how can I expect to see them revere and honor the Lord? Apart from a miracle of God it just won’t happen.
As I pray for God’s best for them, I must realize that, after Mark, these children are my first and highest responsibility for discipleship and ministry. How am I stewarding this opportunity?
Truth is, I could do better.
This morning, while reading in 2 Chronicles 22, I saw how a mother’s impact shaped not only the life of her child but a whole people group. What power lies at our disposal as parents! Sadly, her influence was detrimental.
Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned one year in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Athaliah, the granddaughter of Omri. He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother was his counselor in doing wickedly. He did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, as the house of Ahab had done. 2 Chronicles 22:2-4a
“His mother was his counselor in doing wickedly.” What a tragic legacy!
What gripped me about the text was that although we cannot be certain of the choices our children will make, we can undoubtedly shape them for good or for evil by our influence in their lives. The rest is in the hands of God.
The passage goes on to say, “He did what was evil in the sight of the Lord as the house of Ahab had done.” Ahab was Ahaziah’s grandfather – another influence in his life and another godless testimony.
As I prayed for God to help me better steward the opportunity to impact my kids, I jotted several things that I’ve learned over the years. (This list is in no way exhaustive, but it’s a start.) I share them as questions for us today:
Am I humble? I am not naturally humble. I tend towards pride, rebellion, and selfish desires in my heart. Yet, God graciously convicts me of my sinfulness. As a result, I continually contend with pride that rises up within me—taking credit for what God has done, unwilling to admit my fault before God and my children, ignoring God’s instruction in my own life. If I am going to parent effectively, I must parent humbly before God and my children.
Do I lead them by example? If I don’t want my children behaving a certain way or watching a certain thing, etc., am I leading by example. If I want my children to seek the Lord, am I seeking Him? Notice the verse I shared said that Azahiah’s mother was his counselor in “DOING wickedly.” Wherever I am leading them, I’m leading by example. And that’s a fact.
Am I proclaiming to them the need for rescue and salvation over their need for morality? Am I urging my children to understand their need for the transforming work of Christ in their hearts first and foremost? Or am I touting the importance of being good and doing good? The Bible says, “There are none righteous, no not one.” (Romans 3:10) My kids don’t need to be made better. They need to be made alive in Christ.
Have I surrendered my children to God and His plan for them? Or am I pushing them to accomplish what I had hoped to accomplish but never did? Am I pushing them toward a career path or plan that ensures security or status? Instead, I ask myself, am I encouraging them, by my life and my words, to surrender fully to God and let Him direct their paths, laying their lives at His feet for His service? Am I asking God to have His way in their lives and trusting that He will? Am I willing to do what Hannah did in 1 Samuel 21:27-28:
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life, he will be given over to the Lord.
1 Samuel 21:27-28
Am I praying for them? Am I asking God for their salvation? Am I asking Him to fulfill His purposes for them? Am I praying for my ability to steward them? Because I often fail to know the right thing to do for my kids, I bring a matter before the Lord. Often I assume I know what He will want me to do. Then He speaks, and I find I was way off. He has rescued us from much! He has led me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. He has shown me mercy and grace, helping me in my time of need. Prayer is also a tool to encourage me to trust when God is working behind the scenes, when prayers seem to go unanswered, when I must believe in faith, and when His answers are not mine. Prayer (and Scripture) helps me to come to know the character of God. This helps me to trust what I cannot see.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16
Friend, God LOVES our children. They are uniquely designed and placed in our care for a short time. There’s not another child like each of them. God thought it good to give them to us to grow and nurture – to teach them to know and love Him. What a gift and what a responsibility!
But maybe you feel as I often do. “God, I’ve blown it!” Don’t despair. The weight of the work rests on Him. He only asks us to surrender our lives and our children to Him. (I say that as if it’s easy. I find surrender to be my greatest obstacle to His power being poured out. But God is at work giving me the power and desire to do what pleases Him. Phil 2:13)
“God, how do I parent today?”
“How do I parent through this difficult season?”
“How do I point my children to you when they seem uninterested?”
“How do I make up for lost time?”
It’s never too late to take all your worries, questions, fears, and regrets and roll them over, along with yourself, onto His mighty arms and ask Him to carry you on.
His shoulders are big.
His power is unlimited.
His work is perfect.
His grace is sufficient.
His love is for You and Your Children.
His invitation is, “Come.”
Will you?
