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PINIMAGEToday is my son’s last JV game of the year. What an experience it’s been. We watched Hudson work hard to make the team. Then we watched him struggle through thoughts of giving up. We watched him spend countless hours working to improve his abilities. In my dreams I see the season ending with my child being carried out on the shoulders of his teammates in slow motion while spectators chant his name and his coaches applaud in the background.
I had some shining moments in my day in sports and a wall of trophies for my successes. It seemed only natural to want my children to excel in sports too. To be the star players.
That has not been the case.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend. She said her daughter struggles so much with insecurity that it’s painful to watch. I get it. Sometimes watching our children go through hard things IS incredibly painful. I could identify because I have also felt that pain. She went on to say that many of her daughter’s friends seem so confident and seem to never really struggle socially. They don’t seem to fight feeling insecure. And because she does, relationships have been difficult.
Feeling her pain, I immediately responded with words of encouragement. “This is a season. I thought my oldest daughter would never make it through middle school. She struggled with identity and confidence.” As I talked I felt the Holy Spirit begin to stir up some truth inside my heart.
Tammy, you’re looking at this from the wrong perspective. Your advice reflects the idea that what your children should pursue is strength. That if your friend’s daughter holds out long enough perhaps strength will come to her and with that friends and success, etc. The hope is not to go from weakness to strength. That is the natural way of things – whether it is in sports or social circles or any other area in life. The true goal is to move from both places to Jesus.
I thought for a minute and changed my course of conversation. I said to her, “You know we think that if our children become strong and confident instead of being insecure then they will be okay. I was confident as a teen. I succeeded at almost everything. And it took me well into my late 20’s to stop relying on my own strength and to walk with the Lord. It took me years to surrender my pride and self-confidence to Him so that He could have control of my life. Had I not placed so much stock in my own abilities, I would have learned to live in Him sooner.
I thought back to Hudson. It’s been a tough season with ups and downs. But want to know what I’m most delighted to see in my son’s life over the course of his time on the JV basketball team? He has learned to pray. Sure, Hudson has prayed in the past but through the season God has taught Hudson to pray when he felt weak, or afraid, or discouraged. He has taught Hudson what it means to surrender. He has taught Hudson to trust Him in ways Hudson did not before. Hudson learned at 15, “When I am weak, He is strong.”
“When I am weak He is strong.”
I told my friend, “Maybe instead of asking God to help your daughter to not be insecure you can begin to ask Him to cause her insecurity to drive her to Himself. We all have to get there somehow. I wouldn’t be surprised if those who feel the weakest find Him first.”
Lets think about it for a minute. What do you seek for your kids? What are your hopes and dreams for them? Want to know mine?
Just Jesus.
And whatever Jesus should orchestrate in their lives from there will be up to Him.
The Bible talks a lot about what Jesus is after, not just in the lives of our children, but in our lives as well.
He just wants us to let go of our life – Doesn’t matter if it’s full of insecurity or strength. Just let it go. Die to it. And live in Him.
Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Ephesians 4:22-24 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Friend, do you see the hope, the power, the life available to us and to our children in these verses? It might seem that the distance between your child’s weakness and their strength is miles apart. But the distance to Jesus is that of our knees to the floor in surrender. That’s where we truly live.
When I finally learned to let go and give God Lordship in my life, I truly began to live. I’m thankful that He never gave up on me and faithfully brought me to the understanding that true living, true success is not the overcoming insecurity or becoming more confident. It’s just Jesus.
Surrender your life to Him today and pray your children do the same.
