Tammy On Tuesday ~ The Squeeze Test

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^{The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. Luke 6:45}

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I’ve always loved Godiva truffles. I love the variety and creativity of the flavors and even the designs. They are pretty and they are delicious. I especially like the ones with nuts or crispy stuff inside. And, usually the fruit filled types would get eaten last, since they are not my favorite. But looking at them from the outside you can’t really know what they contain. That’s why I’m thankful for the description card that helps me make my selections.

At Christmas we received a box of truffles and somehow the card went missing. So, the kids (and probably Mark) resorted to squeezing and squishing the truffles so the outside coating would crack and reveal what was in side.

Do you ever feel that God cracks your exterior to reveal what’s inside?

 

 

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This past Sunday evening our LifeGroup gathered and during our discussion we talked about how life’s pressures that crack our appealing, nicely decorated outer exterior can sometimes reveal a surprise inside.

I confessed to my LifeGroup that I have been able to surrender many areas of my life to the Lord and I desire to see His power working through me, but at times, when I’m squeezed, I’m surprise at what is revealed.

Sadly, you might find ugliness inside.

One person in our LifeGroup shared a story of how he was recently under pressure and stress from work and he poured out his frustration on his son for a mistake he had made. He said he should have shown his son grace but my friend took the opportunity to unload the frustration in his heart.

As he talked, I thought about how often, if I’ve had a stressful day, I will do the same thing. In my mind I’m thinking, “The kids better not be difficult because I am not in the mood.” For some reason I have let myself off the hook when I use a harsh tone with the kids, figuring they should understand all the pressures on me. It’s the wrong attitude to have. It’s just plain wrong to have a harsh tone or to over-lecture simply because I’m under pressure.  My family should be the first recipients of grace.

My family should be the first recipients of grace not the last.

I was so challenged on Sunday night that I have a responsibility to show grace to my children and to Mark in pressure situations that I made a mental note…next time I’m stressed, I’m going to refrain from lectures and irritability. I’m going to dispense grace.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

That was Sunday night and yesterday (Monday) I hit the ground running getting some work done. My day was turning out to be much more productive than Mondays tend to be and I was feeling good. That was until I looked up at the clock and realized the 1 ½ hours I planned to get ready to head out to my son’s basketball game had dwindled to 15-20 minutes. I needed a shower! I needed that 1 ½ to get up from my desk and get some house things done and now I was WAY BEHIND. I made adjustments and still knew I would be pushing it to get to the game in time for tip off. What was I thinking?? I kept doing the math in my head and was certain I would be late.

I called down to the girls and told them we were running late and to take my purse and get in the car.  I planned to finish getting ready and run right out the door to save a few minutes. Running through my bedroom and down the steps I hear Sophie in the kitchen popping popcorn.

“Sophie! Why aren’t you in the car?!?”

I jumped in the driver seat and waited for what seemed like forever when she emerged with her bag of popcorn.

When she got in the car I proceeded to lecture her that the popcorn was my healthy popcorn and I don’t want her gobbling it up. I then lectured that I could’ve left 3 minutes before but had to wait on her to finish. I lectured that delayed obedience is disobedience. Boy, was I a pill!

We pulled on to the back road and were making good time until I came up behind a car going 10 miles under the speed limit. There was no way to pass and we putted along.

I COMPLAINED. Then I would feel an immediate pang of conviction and repent out loud in the car. “God, forgive me for being impatient!” This went on and on. Then it hit me.  I began to wonder if God was putting me to the test. I said, “God, I see what You’re doing. You are showing me that I still ooze ugliness when I’m squeezed. I will do better.”

Just then, Mark called and asked me if I could pick up some cash to get into the game since he was already there in the parking lot and I was still on the way. In a harsh tone I told him I was late and didn’t know where I would QUICKLY pick up cash. I told him I was behind an extremely slow driver and felt as though I’d miss the whole game!  I wondered why he didn’t think of that sooner.

I ran to Royal Farms and while I picked up cash I was standing in line. An old couple in front of me what chatting with the cashier. She looked like she had been through a recent surgery; and this seemed to be one of their only outings for the day. Friends, they really spent time catching up. My heart wrestled with selfishness and compassion. I silenced the complaints in my head and smiled while I waited.

I left there and raced to the school…but when I pulled up there was really no one in the parking lot. I didn’t see Mark’s truck…it dawned on me, I WAS AT THE WRONG SCHOOL!  It was then that I realized that the correct location was on the other side of town!

I grumbled under my breath and talked about how unreal this was and how I HAD to be on Candid Camera. The girls had a front row seat to my complaints. I could sense my audience and conviction constantly poured over me. I would regroup and offer up a life-lesson. “Girls, the world doesn’t revolve around us. We can’t always expect things to go our way. It’s not kind to get angry at slow drivers.” They listened but I’m pretty sure they knew I was having a conversation with myself.

Once again, after righting myself and giving yet another pep talk, lo and behold, I got behind a student driver. In fact, I was in a long line behind this student driver on a back road. We once again putted along.

When I finally arrived at the school, we ran in and saw that it was already halftime. We’d missed half of the game. I wondered how long it would take me to bring my heart rate down and just accept how things had played out. I looked over at Hudson who was shooting baskets. He made eye contact and I started to try to mouth an explanation…BUT HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN ALL OF THAT. I just said, “Sorry we’re late.”

While we watched the rest of the game I told Mark how I’d desperately failed the “squeeze” test. God showed me that there’s still work to do! He also showed me I can’t do it without Him.

What gripped me most and seemed to play over in my mind was this…

It doesn’t take much.

It doesn’t take much squeezing for the ugliness to come out.

I’m thankful for a God who forgives and is at work, giving me the power and the desire to do what pleases Him. (Phil 2:13)  I’m also thankful for the fact that He identifies the sins that produce things like impatience and irritability – whether it be selfishness, or pride, or laziness.  Then I can confess those attitudes and watch Him work.  And He does – changing me into the image of Christ.

This morning, during our prayer time with the kids, we talked about what we learned from yesterday and when I confessed I had really blown it yesterday at showing grace, Bianca piped up in agreement. “Yeah, you were really stressed out.” We actually had a good laugh.

And, you know, this was a good lesson for my kids, to see me confess my weakness and acknowledge I need God to help me to live in grace. I don’t want ugliness to come out when I am squeezed. I don’t want to explain it away or think, “That’s just how I am.” I want it removed and I know I can count on God to do that work in me as I confess and comply with His work.

How about you? Do you struggle to show grace when you’re squeezed?

I hope today’s post encourages you not to give up but to give in to God’s power and let Him work.