Last week I talked about some recent challenges that hit me like waves in a boisterous ocean. I shared how I felt like I couldn’t get my footing. We all have times like that. And, although some of the recent challenges aren’t quite over, I am able to look back and see God’s truth in all of it. I am able to see His hand of provision and protection. But, God is also showing me something else. The lesson came from a familiar verse I’ve known since I was a child. In fact, I used to sing it.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
This verse came to me just the other day while I was going about my normal mundane activities here at home. I began to sing it to myself and think about the words. Over the years I usually thought of this verse in the context of my attitudes, thoughts, and words to others. That’s why it took me off guard when a question came to my mind:
Tammy, how’s your self talk?
Now that things have stopped spinning in my life, I felt God pressing in with this question. It was as if He was saying:
Are the words you say to yourself pleasing to Me?
What do you meditate on in your heart?
Do you realize how your self talk can taint the beautiful message of truth I impart to you in times of difficulty?
While processing the challenging couple of weeks I’ve had, I’m realizing not all of my internal words and meditations aligned with God’s truth. In fact, some of my self talk was downright unproductive – even defeating. God was pouring out the life-giving water of His Word into a dirty cup of worry, fear and defeat.
Let me give you an example of negative self talk and the progression my thoughts can tend to take.
(And don’t pretend you never do this.)
One of my kids acts up or talks back.
We have words.
I feel like I blew the moment to respond in a wise and godly way.
There’s a communication break down and they clam up.
I begin telling myself,
“They probably won’t share with me when they struggle with things in the future because I was so hard on them.
We are drifting apart.
I don’t think I hug them enough.
They’ll get married and never call home or come visit.”
The prevailing negative assumption – “How can God help me in this since I’m a failing parent?”
Here’s another general example.
I saw so-and-so at the store.
She seemed really aloof.
“She might be mad at me?
What did I do?
Could it be because I forgot to respond to that text the other day?
She’s probably mad at me.
I’m not a good friend.”
The prevailing negative assumption – “God, help me because I can’t effectively cultivate friendships. I’m a bad friend.”
Maybe these examples sound a little outrageous. The fact is we would not usually outright speak the words we say to ourselves. But if we did, I bet we’d be surprised. We say things like this to ourselves every day. And they often come from presumptions. We let these thoughts linger in our minds and we live in their shadow. The danger is that there may be very little truth if any in our self talk.
And so when God speaks to our hearts with Truth from His Word, it gets sifted in with this negative self talk and we struggle to know what He is doing and saying to us.
God revealed to me areas that I had latched onto negative self talk which stole the peace He desired for me to have in the circumstance. Only after I began to write out these internal struggles in my journal did I realize they contributed to much of the despair I was feeling when His intention was for me to feel freedom in Him.
Negative self talk affects our interaction with God and with others, including those we love the most like our family and friends. It’s important to deal with negative lines of thinking when they pertain to our assumptions and guesses about what IS and what might be on the horizon.
And you know what? God goes before us and behind us. He knows the negative self talk we experience. He knows the hold our self talk has on us.
Psalm 139:4 says, You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. – even what I say to myself.
Since God knows your negative self talk before you even think it, you can trust He will also help you to overcome it. So when you are tempted to allow negative self talk to take hold in your heart remember the passage:
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Cor 10:13
To uncover and counteract the negative self talk I experience, I’ve begun to pray Psalm 19:14, “Lord, please let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You. For You ARE my Rock and my Redeemer. Reveal to me lines of thinking that are not from you. Reveal to me areas of my life that steal Your Joy.”
Perhaps the deliverance you are seeking from the struggle you are in requires getting rid of negative self talk so that God’s truth can take root and flourish in you. Ask God to reveal to you lies you’ve allowed to take root in your heart and mind and then allow Him to replace them with Himself.
As a final word, I want to leave with you a verse to encourage and remind you today.
Phil 4:8 says, And now, brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
