Have you ever felt like you are in the surf of a boisterous ocean and the waves keep crashing over you? Just as soon as you feel you might be getting your footing another wave comes. It’s not necessarily the size of the waves, it’s the persistence that sometimes wears you down.
I’ve had two weeks of crashing waves:
- Started out with a health scare and some unusual symptoms I was experiencing.
- Medical testing.
- Waiting rooms.
- We received some difficult personal news.
- As if we needed any extra stress, one of my cats got sick which led to several trips to the vet.
- Money got tight.
- Discouragement from others.
- My schedule somehow became overbooked.
- I wasn’t sleeping.
- My husband and children got sick with sore throat and cold.
- I got sick.
- I felt alone.
All the while, I was crying out for relief. I was gasping for breath from the waves and wondering when there would be a break – wondering why God had not swooped in and given me peace. I got grumpy.
Just when it seemed I would go under for good, like the end of any good book, God’s hand lifted me. In His faithfulness, He restored me.
How fitting that I would find myself in Psalm 40 just before I sit down to write this blog:
Psalm 40 English Standard Version (ESV)
My Help and My Deliverer
40 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
4 Blessed is the man who makes
the Lord his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
to those who go astray after a lie!
5 You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are more than can be told.
6 In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted,
but you have given me an open ear.[a]
Burnt offering and sin offering
you have not required.
7 Then I said, “Behold, I have come;
in the scroll of the book it is written of me:
8 I delight to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart.”
9 I have told the glad news of deliverance[b]
in the great congregation;
behold, I have not restrained my lips,
as you know, O Lord.
10 I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
from the great congregation.
11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain
your mercy from me;
your steadfast love and your faithfulness will
ever preserve me!
12 For evils have encompassed me
beyond number;
my iniquities have overtaken me,
and I cannot see;
they are more than the hairs of my head;
my heart fails me.
13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me!
O Lord, make haste to help me!
14 Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether
who seek to snatch away my life;
let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
who delight in my hurt!
15 Let those be appalled because of their shame
who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”
16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
17 As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!
As I read this passage and thought back over the past two weeks, I was struck by the very first phrase:
I waited patiently for The Lord;
I’ve gotta be honest. I can’t say I was exactly patient. When I felt there was no relief I began to doubt and fear. I knew what the Bible said. I knew that God COULD act. I know what a good pastor’s wife should do. But, if I’m being honest, in my weariness, I struggled to trust that He had a good plan in all of this. My prayers sounded a lot like David’s prayer in Psalm 38.
Psalm 38:8-10,15,21-22
O Lord, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
15But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
21Do not forsake me, O Lord!
O my God, be not far from me!
22 Make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation!
While I struggled to patiently wait on God, a battled surged in me between the truth I have hidden in my heart and my emotions. Looking back, a part of God’s answer to my prayer was a phone call from a dear friend in Texas. After a few minutes of checking in and niceties, I dumped all my burdens on her. She asked me, “Tammy are you seeking the truth in all of this from God’s Word? Are you praying God’s Word? Are you abiding in it’s truth? He won’t fail you!”
So I began to not only pray for relief in my circumstances, but I began to seek out what God has already said about them. There are countless verses I could share with you…but here are just a few that helped me through my struggle against my emotions.
My Emotions Said: Does God care?
The Truth Said:
- Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you. Psalm 55:22
- Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7
- And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given us in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19
- Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. Psalm 103:13-14
My Emotions Said: Is God listening?
The Truth Said:
- Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear Isaiah 59:1
- I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Ps 34:4
- As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice. Ps 55:16,17
- In the day of my trouble I will call upon You: for You will answer me. Ps 86:7
- He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. Ps 91:15
My Emotions Said: Can I trust that God has a good plan in this?
The Truth Said:
- For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jer 29:11-12
- Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Matt 6:25-34
- The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. Psalm 138:8
- Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov 3:5-6
- And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
After searching the Bible and finding these wonderful promises, I confessed my doubt and fear to God and asked Him to forgive me for allowing the circumstances to overwhelm me. Through these two weeks of crashing waves, God is reminding me to remember His faithful presence and to hide His Word in my heart. Victory can be won even before the trial is over when we win the battle over our emotions and abide in truth of God’s Word.
I love how Psalm 40 ends. Verses 16-17 say,
16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
17 As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!
God’s faithful encouragement to me continues. Just yesterday while searching on the web, I stumbled across a painting that I’ve never seen before. The meaning behind it struck me and it encouraged me to the depths of my heart.
It’s a picture of Jesus as He rescues Peter from drowning in the sea. I can relate. I want to walk with the Lord. I want to step out of the boat. But sometimes I’m afraid. I take my eyes off of Him and focus on the waves around me. Thankfully, I know that when I’m sinking, I can cry out and He will be there to deliver me. How I needed this beautiful reminder!
When you feel like your drowning, look up. Look to Jesus. Wait patiently for Him. He will deliver you.
Leila Craig - Ok, I think I need Tammy on Monday thru Saturdays!!!!! Your words are so encouraging…..thank you