Tammy On Tuesday ~ When it comes down to it…

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Just last week, my husband, Mark, and I joined a pastor friend and his wife for lunch.  He was asking about how things were going at LifeHouse and how we’ve taken to our new roles.  We talked about a lot of the exciting things God was doing and then we got down to what I call the “nitty gritty” of the pastorate.  In my heart, I wanted to share with them all that has taken place over the past 3 years and what I’ve learned.  To look back, it seems like I could fill volumes and spend days relaying all the lessons, battles and victories.  But, when it comes down to it, if I had to summarize what I’ve learned, there are two things God has been making clear while I walk this road (not the road of pastor’s wife, but the road of obedience to His plan for me).

They are two observations I continually go back to when I’m trying to navigate through the situations I find myself in each day:

1. I must always stay focused on the call God has given me (a personal, definitive walk of obedience) AND – here’s the stinger for me -…don’t add to it.

This requires me to daily, almost moment to moment, ask myself…”Is what I am investing my energy in right now, in this moment, helping to fulfill the purpose God has called me to?”  I often find that, for me, the struggle to feeling God’s fulfillment and peace is that I’ve added to much of everything else to my plate.

At other times, while fully embracing what God puts before me, I add the responsibility of a desired outcome – serving with expectation of results instead of serving with abandon, leaving the results up to God.  I must stay focused on the call and trust He will do the rest.

Then there is another observation:

2. I must get used to being turned inside out. (While God works through me, He must work in me.)

Compliant, eager, all-in: that’s how I would describe myself as I face the day to day demands of His call on my life.  And each day it seems, God reveals to me contradictions within myself, opposition to His purpose and plans – areas in my heart that have every intention to sabotage the mission.  How can this be?

With a heart to serve and a desire to live according to God’s plan and purposes, how can I at the same time be unloving?  Proud?  Full of fear?  Irritable?

It doesn’t take much: a grumpy cashier, someone butting in line at the gas pump, an unexpected bill, an illness, a success, frustration that my hard work wasn’t recognized or appreciated.

Recognizing this ugliness inside is one thing.  But God doesn’t ever stop there.  He requires that I put it to death.  Often when I confess sin in my heart, He then asks me to replace it with godly behavior.  This always seems to go against my grain…hence the feeling of being turned inside out!

These ugly traits rise up at the most unexpected moments and the result is a sense of shame and surprise that my committed heart can still be so ugly.   I’m thankful Paul expresses this same battle in Romans 7:18-25a

18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

The key to this struggle of my flesh against my spirit is the willingness to surrender the areas occupied by the flesh so that the spirit can take over.  I understand I will fight this battle every day.

So there it is…when it comes down to it, my objective each day can be simplified.

– God has a definitive purpose for my day, for my life.  Am I following Him?

– As He works through me, I can guarantee He will also be working in me.  Am I willing to surrender whatever it is He reveals in my heart, even if it turns me inside out?

I hope today’s post gives you food for thought.  After all, God has a plan for each of us that plays out in the moments of our days…What will you do, when it comes down to it?