Tammy on Tuesday »

It will probably take a lifetime, but God continues to teach me that I can commit my children to His will and way and TRUST HIM to do His good work. He amazes me with the stories He writes.  

I’ll be honest, I have often said, 

• Wait, God! I have a better idea here.  
• Why would You choose this difficult path for my child? 
• Could pain and tears ever be a good thing? 
• What about success? What about excelling? Don’t you want that for my kids?
• How about I step in here and tell them what to do?  
• Can I give You a little assistance and help Your plan along?

I’ve said all of these and more. I PROFESS that I trust God and want His plan for my children. But often, my actions speak something else. One thing I’ve learned. God requires my complete surrender to allow Him to work. He created my children. He knows best. And at times, He gently points out where I’ve taken the wheel and forced my own plans into the storyline. That’s when things get messy. 

Trust me! I have had many a talk with the Lord about things I don’t understand. Watching God work my children’s lives has been painful at times. The way has been perplexing to me. But, in it all, I have learned time and time again that it’s His way that I want, not mine.   

Not long ago, I shared with the ladies from our church that my son Hudson is in the last semester of his freshman year at college. It’s been a challenging year – being eleven hours away from home, ina new environment, on his own, during COVID. 

Recently Hudson was approached by a gentleman looking for counselors for a summer Christian sports camp. He met and interviewed Hudson and felt he would be an excellent fit for the program. Saying yes would mean Hudson would spend his summer in western Pennsylvania. At the end of their meeting, the man told Hudson he would be sending an application to fill out.  

Hudson called and told us all about it. I could see how God might be shaping him for just such an experience. Hudson loves sports. He has a heart for the underdog. He’s learned so much and grown in his faith. He wants to impact others for the Lord. The camp would provide an excellent opportunity to grow in every area of his life. But it would mean he’d be away from us this summer. I don’t like that. Am I willing to continue to give my desires up for God’s plan? I know the answer. Yes, I would want him to pursue what God puts before him. The path ahead seemed clear to me. But could Hudson see it?

After that conversation, I found myself asking every time I spoke with Hudson, 

“Hey, did you fill out the application?”  – “No, not yet. It’s long.” 

“How’s the application coming?” – “I’ll do it tonight.”

“Do you know when they need the application submitted?” – “Not sure.”

Over a week past and I noticed he called and texted less and less. I realized he didn’t want me to ask him about the application. I wasn’t sure what his hesitation was. I mean, it’s simple. Just fill out the application. It doesn’t mean you’re committing to the job. It’s just a step in a direction. But it drug on and on.  

Frustrated with the whole situation, I realized I was forcing my hand in Hudson’s story, and I committed to stop asking. I prayed and rolled the burden over on to the Lord. “God, why do I foolishly think I must add a little bit of elbow grease to what You are already doing. Please show me my role in Your plan and stop me from hindering it.”

This past weekend, Hudson surprised me and flew home for a few days. I was elated. AND SURPRISED. Mark and I were on our way home through Philly on Friday and he said he didn’t feel well and wanted to stop at a restroom somewhere. The only thing we could think of was baggage claim at the Philly Airport since he wasn’t sure where to find a bathroom off the exits in Philly. Seemed reasonable to me. I circled the terminal in the car while I waited. It was all a set-up! Somehow Mark got it on camera!

I was so thrilled to have my boy home for the weekend! While in the car on the way home from the airport, Mark said, “Hudson, whatever happened with the application?” He was genuinely curious. Hudson said, “I just haven’t filled it out yet.” I bit my tongue.

Then I felt a prompting. I said, “Hudson, I know God will direct you, whatever you decide. Know that we don’t expect you do any particular thing. All we want is for you to follow the Lord. We trust His plan, and we know you can too.”

No cajoling.

No interrogating. 

The conversation ended. 

• PINIMAGE

The weekend flew by. Hudson would fly out Sunday evening, but that morning, while at church, I stepped into my office for a few minutes. I grabbed what I needed and glanced to see a book sitting on my desk that I actually bought for Hudson a little over a month ago. I had been meaning to send it but never did. I felt prompted to pick it up and have him pack it in his bag when he left.

PINIMAGE

Yesterday, Hudson texted me. He said, “Guess what? I finished the book already.” I was pleasantly surprised. We had a great conversation about it, and I could see his wheels were really turning. I asked him what his biggest takeaway was.  

• PINIMAGE

Looking back, I have NO DOUBT that God had this book sitting on my desk, ready for an important moment in Hudson’s life. A few hours after our text conversation, Hudson called. He said, “Mom, I loved being home, and I love being with our family. I even miss it all when I’m away. But I feel like God showed me while I was there that there is nothing there for me right now. I don’t want to come home for the summer and look for odd jobs to make a little money when I can do something with meaning. This camp seems like a great way to grow and to help others.”  

He filled out the application last night. 

Done.

Now, do I know the next step? Of course not. But here’s what I do know. I asked God to guide Hudson. I asked Him to impress Hudson to fill out the application. God was answering all along. It took a surprise visit home to bring Hudson to the realization of what he needed to do.

I think I tend to pray about things and expect a straight line from point A to point B. 

“God, please prompt Hudson to fill out the application if this is Your will.”

I think what I meant was, “I will pray and then You will nudge him and before the night is over the application will be completed.”

Days passed before the answer came. But He was answering all along, not by forcing Hudson’s hand but by changing his heart. These things can take time. Regarding filling out the application, it took 19 days…but who’s counting.

“God, please work!”

“God, please guide.”

“God, what are you doing?”

“What I do best.”

It will probably take a lifetime for me to learn to let go and let God, but every time I do, He proves His faithfulness. I encourage you to seek the Lord for the lives of your children. Surrender ALL to Him and His way. Follow Him even when it’s difficult, or unappealing, or scary. He is doing a good work, and you can trust Him. So, let go (STOP TRYING TO CONTROL) and let God (THE ONE WHO CREATED YOUR KIDS) direct your kids. 

He who began a good work is faithful to complete it. Philippians 1:6

Not long ago I was blessed by a friend who shared with me how God had been working to bring her to full surrender in her heart. She said, “All along I kept saying, ‘God, I AM surrendered.’ But I was never fully at peace. I couldn’t really put my finger on it. I was serving God, praying to God, doing what a Christian should. Why didn’t I feel free? Why did I struggle with so many things? God knew there was more in my heart to give over to Him. That’s the journey I’ve been on.” Does any of this sound like you? I wrote a blog in 2016 about why things seem to not add up. Here’s the post:

The other day I saw something interesting in my facebook news feed. It was an equation that didn’t add up correctly. The challenge was to move one element of the equation and make it true. I figured it out and was pleasantly amused. In the context of the Christian life, I can think of some equations we seek to live as believers that will never add up. Some believe that Christianity is simply this… if we add God to our lives we will get what it is that our hearts really want.

Me + God = good health / beauty

Me + God = wealth and ease

Maybe we would never say this. Maybe we aren’t even aware that this is the foundation of our decision to “accept Christ” in our lives but we somehow think if we add God to our lives, that thing we always hoped for will come to us. Maybe in your life, the equation is more complex…Sometimes we think if we add an extra component, maybe THEN things will work out and we will get what we want most deeply.

Me + good works + God = a rescue from an unhappy marriage

Me + empty promises of devotion + God = popularity and self esteem

Me + church attendance + God = protection from life’s trials

I can remember a time in my life where I set out determined to be a really “good Christian” so that God would feel inclined to bless me and give me what my heart desired. On this journey with Christ, I have found that God doesn’t work that way. And He patiently teaches me this as I am willing to give up my false ideas of who I want Him to be and learn who He really is.

Using God to get closer to a desire is not salvation at all. It may be a harsh reality, but I have found from my own experience that God isn’t interested in giving me what I want. He’s interested in giving me what He wants for me. Namely Himself. It’s true that God sent Christ so that we could have life and have it in abundance (John 10:10) This life He’s talking about is not just earthly life…He offers life eternal that begins when we say yes to Him.  And He tells us in John 17:3 that this life He offers us is, simply defined,…to know God through Christ.

And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. John 17:3

Often people love to quote the passage Jeremiah 29:11 –

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

We take this verse and begin making our wish list known to God and then expect Him to act. What we miss are the verses that follow… 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Emphasis mine) Notice what verse 13 says, You will seek and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

The wrong equation will never add up to the right answer.

What Christ came to give us is not a life we map out for ourselves but a life with God. He alone satisfies. We will never see this until we forsake lesser pursuits. If you find that you’ve been saying to yourself, “this Christian life just isn’t adding up”, maybe it’s time to go back and check your work. Perhaps you need to rewrite your equation… You + full surrender (your marriage, your health, your self-esteem, your pursuits, your hurt, your goals, your children, all of it) = God  When God is the answer I seek, I will find Him through surrendering my life and all things in it. This is God’s grand design. This is how God glorifies Himself in our lives.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:1-2

Calling upon Christ for salvation is the beautiful plan God has established to reconcile us to Himself. Our relationship with God was broken because of our sin. But Christ came to earth to die for our sin and bridge that gap that kept us from a Holy God. That is the work of the Gospel. It’s God’s rescue plan for us. He desires to restore that broken relationship with you and He’s done everything necessary to make it possible.

I want to leave you with a quote from John Piper in his book, God is the Gospel . He says,

My point is that all the saving events and all the saving blessings of the gospel are means of getting obstacles out of the way so that we might know and enjoy God most fully. (for instance) reconciliation, redemption, forgiveness, imputation (the receiving of Christ’s righteousness), sanctification, healing, heaven– none of these is good news except for one reason: they bring us to God for our everlasting enjoyment of him. If we believe all these things have happened to us, but do not embrace them for the sake of getting to God, they have not happened to us. Christ did not die to forgive sinners who go on treasuring anything above seeing and savoring God.  And people who would be happy in heaven if Christ were not there, will not be there.  The gospel is not a way to get people to heaven; it is a way to get people to God.  It’s a way of overcoming every obstacle to everlasting joy in God.  If we don’t want God above all things, we have not been converted by the gospel.

If you’re struggling today, finding that nothing is adding up…I encourage you go back and rework the equation. Surrender to God today. Seek God above all else. He is worthy of all praise and glory. You will find He is what you’ve been yearning for all along.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Eph 3:20

Have you ever seen those lists of irrational offenses toddlers take when “mistreated” by their parents? I can’t help but laugh when I read through them. Here are just a few:

•  “Our daughter cried because she didn’t get to go to her parents’ wedding — seven years before she was born.”

• “From the backseat, my enraged toddler sobbed, ‘He’s looking out my window!’ He was mad because his brother was looking out of ‘his’ window instead of the other one.”

• “My son wanted me to wrap him like a burrito for bed. I did, but he was upset that I wrapped him like a bean burrito, crying, ‘I want to be a chicken and rice burrito!'”

• “My daughter lost it because she wanted a twin sister (she has a twin sister).”

• “My wife is four months older than I am, and my 4-year-old daughter got upset because she wanted me to be older than my wife.”

Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a new friend who has been attending our church for about six months now. She told me for some time, God has impressed on her heart that she should come and talk with me and offer her gift of encouragement to the women at LifeHouse. Recounting her own journey through heartbreak and disappointment, she told me God has been teaching her that one of our greatest obstacles to His peace and joy is that we are so easily offended. She went on to say that she desires to help women who struggle, as she once did, to untangle themselves from the weight of expectations of others so that they can be free to walk with Jesus and experience His love that surpasses all expectations.

Just last week, another friend came to me and told me that God had been doing a deep work in her heart. She wondered why God wasn’t opening doors for ministry opportunity – why she felt stuck. Pulling back layers of hurt, frustration, and disappointment, He revealed that He could not work in and through her because she harbored bitterness in her heart. She expressed that He would not take her farther without making things right. The tragedy of it all is that the offense had mainly been hurting her all along. In the end, she testified to the great work of grace the Lord had been doing. He desired her freedom and would not let things rest until He set her free from bitterness. What a gracious, loving Savior!

We are so easily offended. 

But my question is, 

“Is there room in the life of a believer to be offended?” 

“As Christ-followers, do we have that right?”

This morning my Bible reading plan took me to Matthew 26 and the days leading up to Christ’s death on the cross. Let me give you the cliff notes on this story, along with some observations on how I probably would have reacted if I were in Jesus’ place.

The chapter starts with Jesus telling the disciples to go and prepare the Passover meal because His time was at hand to be delivered over to death.  

Here at the same time, we see Judas making his deal with the devil and betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. What’s worse is that he met with religious leaders of the day, not some godless Roman officials – no, those masquerading as holy men.  

My probable response: How offensive! Judas walked with me for all this time. He’s seen my heart. I’ve never given him reason to do something like this! And these chief priests, acting as if they know my Father yet denying me. How twisted! I can’t believe Judas even has the nerve to show up for dinner.

Before dinner with his companions, the 12 disciples, Jesus washes their feet. What a humble act of love! Not moments later, He says to them that one would betray him.

My probable response: I know what Judas did. I know he holds a bag of silver. I know what I’m about to face. I look around the room and my friends seem oblivious. I can’t really think of eating right now. I’m always there for them; shouldn’t they be picking up on my distress? I’m not asking for the world, just some understanding!

Upon hearing of the betrayal, Peter speaks up and says in verse 33 – “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” He goes on to say he would die before denying Jesus. At the end of verse 35, we see all the disciples declare the same.  

My probable response: Are these empty promises? Actions speak louder than words! Let’s see how you all respond when the time of testing comes!

Next, we see Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane with all but Judas. By this time, Judas had gone to make good on his agreement with the chief priests. He would lead them to Jesus for his arrest. 

My probable response: What a snake! Hope he enjoys that silver!

Jesus, now in anguish, tells his friends to stay and keep watch. He calls his closest three to go a little farther with Him and watch and pray. He then gets alone to pour His heart out to God. In the deepest agony of his earthly life, He sweats great drops of blood. He returns three times to find His close friends sleeping.  

My probable response: Are you kidding me? Can’t the people who know me best support me now? I’m facing the most trying time in my life, and not one of them gets it? I told them this would happen – that I would die. Do they even care?! So much for friendship!

In verse 56, when the arrest was going down and things got messy, we read that “ALL THE DISCIPLES left Him and fled.”

My probable response: Wow, is it too much to ask for just one to stand with me? Everyone is gone? Not one stayed to stand at my defense?!

In verses 69-75, we see Peter following at a distance. Moments later, he does what he promised he wouldn’t. He denies Jesus three times. Remember, this is while Jesus, in His innocence, is standing trial and facing false accusations. 

My probable response: How can these people charge me so unfairly? I’ve done nothing wrong. And there he goes – Peter is saying he never knew me. I told him he would. Empty promises!

Offense piled on offense!

I continued into chapter 27 as the picture expands. Jesus, just one week prior, had been lauded as the Messiah. We call it the triumphal entry to Jerusalem. The people praise Him. They shout, “Hosanna! Hosanna! Glory in the highest!” But here, seven days later, they chant, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him! And let His blood be on us and our children!”  

My probable response: My goodness! What an extreme 180! These people are even bringing their children into their hate and betrayal of me. They never really loved me. They never really had hearts follow me! I came here for them! None of this was for me! And here, as I stand trial, they charge me falsely. I don’t know what’s worse, being slandered or betrayed. The authorities can’t even find any fault in me.

Continuing in chapter 27, Jesus is mocked, stripped, beaten, and lead away to a cross. All the while, He never pleaded His case. He never declared or defended His innocence. Isaiah 53:7 says, “He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so He opened not his mouth.”

My probable response: I am innocent! I am going to the cross for people who hate me. This was a bad idea. How can people live with themselves after sending an innocent man to his death? Why in the world would I ever do anything kind for them? They should get what they deserve. It would be reasonable for me to die and sacrifice myself for them if they showed a little gratitude. But this is just unacceptable. I’m all done with them.

Below His cross, soldiers cast lots for his garments. The criminals hanging next to him revile him along with the others. (V 44)

Friend, I can’t comment on what I might have felt at that moment because, frankly…I wouldn’t have made it this far.

But what is the heart of Jesus after ALL the betrayal, ALL the false accusations, ALL the hate, ALL the beatings, ALL the shame and suffering?!

Luke 23:34 gives the account of Jesus crying out to God. This is what He said,

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

What?!?!

Jesus! Why would You say that???

Look at all the offense! 

Look at all the injustice!  

Look at all the broken promises!

But there Jesus hangs between heaven and earth, suspended on a cross. 

PINIMAGE

The rulers stood watch and scoffed at Him, saying, “He saved others. Let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!”

You know what? Want to know the answer to their question? Want to know why He didn’t save Himself?

Jesus didn’t save Himself that day because He was saving them!

Let that sit for a minute.

He did it for them. And He did it for us!

Friend, perhaps you harbor bitterness in your heart. In light of all that Jesus endured, our offenses sound a lot like the ones we read above. Let’s look at our offenses once again through the lens of the cross.   

I close today with a passage a friend sent me yesterday that gives us some clarity in a world so easily offended.

‘Twas I that shed the sacred blood;

I nailed him to the tree;

I crucified the Christ of God;

I joined the mockery.

Of all that shouting multitude

I feel that I am one;

And in that din of voices rude

I recognize my own.

Around the cross the throng I see,

Mocking the Sufferer’s groan;

Yet still my voice it seems to be,

As if I mocked alone

Horatius Bonar (1808-89)

I am guilty.

So are you.

Do we have any right at all to be offended?

Maybe it’s time to repent. Perhaps it’s time to take responsibility for our own sin. Let’s turn our eyes to Jesus, suspended on the cross. Let’s worship and praise Him for the grace and mercy that poured out with His blood for you and for me.

He was not offended. Nor should we be.

• PINIMAGE

It has been my experience that when I find myself in a place where I no longer enjoy God, I have in some area of my life refused to go on with Him.

It may be tempting when I feel the disconnect to “up my ministry game.” I can spend days, even weeks, trying to convince myself that I’m fine. I might have the world fooled outwardly, but inwardly I am stuck in a dialog that the tug at my heart isn’t conviction. It’s just me overthinking things. One thing is for sure; it’s not a place of peace or enjoyment of God.

Can you relate? Do you go for long periods of time ignoring the nagging conviction, the pressing of God’s finger, on the person, issue, circumstance, sin He is asking you to surrender?

I am thankful for God’s patience with me. Sooner or later, I have, by His grace, relented of my obstinance and allowed God to pry my fingers off my treasured idol and take it from me. But what a battle I face at times to let go!

That’s just it, you know. We hold on to our idols. Maybe it’s control or comfort or frankly, the enjoyment of a particular sin. It’s something taking the place of God in my heart. My refusal to surrender it not only causes anxiety, irritability, lack of joy, skewed perspective. It hinders my fellowship with God and all the wonderful joys of walking with Him!

So, I have found the whole of my everyday Christian life is the process of letting go of idols to make room in my heart for God.  

Tammy, can the Christian life be that simply defined? 

Think about it.

Our enjoyment of God is a byproduct of His Lordship in our hearts.

Our boldness to share the Gospel comes from a surrendered heart to Christ.

Our joy and fulfillment come from knowing Him and obeying Him.

Our willingness to do whatever, wherever, whenever is evidence of unhindered, rich fellowship with the Father.

All of this starts in the surrendered heart.

Matt 16:24-25 tells us, Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

If I want to follow Jesus, I must take up my cross and follow Him. 

I know. You’ve probably already heard this. Right?  

Well, I want to give you another perspective. It’s something I have tended to overlook while reading this familiar passage.

I always imagined “taking up my cross” was ME, in my most pious endeavor, daily showing God I am serious about following Him. I have looked at the “taking up” in relation to my power to do so.

But, Let’s be honest.  

Dying daily: Do we really think about that or seek to do so each day?  

Do my best? yeah.

Make a strong effort? Okay.

All of these leave room for me to decide what I will and will not let go of.

Die? That is quite dramatic!

But it’s exactly what Jesus says we must do. Don’t despair. I have good news, as we look at the command in perhaps a way you never have before.

When I am taking up my cross – I am actually taking up the cross of Christ – who loved me and gave Himself for me.  

HIS cross is my cross. Stay with me here.

When I die daily, I am not meant to go to my death but HIS. I am not told to put on my spiritual best, and hope to make a good show of my devotion to God.  I am meant to put on Christ and Christ crucified. So when I “take up my cross,” I am taking up Christ and His power. Only then do I have the ability to die to self and live in Him.  

I can do all things through Christ with strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.Galatians 2:20

What great news!In His power, we can die daily.

But I want to go back to the issue of being stuck and not enjoying God, not living in Him daily.

Let’s look again at the passage in Matthew 16:24-25. Verse 25 says, “Whoever would save his life will lose it.”

When we get out of sync with God, when we ignore His prompting to surrender an area of our hearts, we are “saving our life.”

It means, in a sense, holding back for himself/herself, like keeping that piece of cake hidden from the family for your own enjoyment—the protection of your own affections at the expense of obedience to God. 

Dying daily and surrendering the difficult things in our hearts go hand in hand.

Simply put,

• you cannot do what Christ commands us in His Word to do unless you do it in Christ.

• And you cannot act in Christ if you are ignoring the point where He presses in.  

• Therefore, you are stuck.

But you don’t have to be.

Friend, what do you need to surrender today?

Christ says, die to self – surrender that thing. Pick up your cross – identify with His death, His cross, and His blood shed for you. And then, do one more thing.

Follow Him. This has nothing to do with “act Christian” or “practice piety.” It’s a relationship and a journey.

I say it all the time. We are called Christ-followers because He intends to take us somewhere, not leave us where we are.

I like what Tozer said, “We must ascend a step at a time. If we refuse one step, we bring our progress to an end.”

Are you stuck? It’s my prayer today that God will press in to the matter so deeply for you that you can no longer ignore it. My prayer is that you will surrender. Put on Christ, His death, and His power. Get back in step with Him. It is there that your joy will be restored.