I’ve had it!
Oh, I’m all done!
That’s it!
Have you ever said anything like this? I found myself saying it just a few short days ago. The truth is, there are times and situations in life that bring us to what seems like the end of ourselves. But, in my experience, the types of comments I mentioned above come right before true surrender and often with a lot of arrogance and pride. Wait. What?
It’s true. I find when I complain that I want to give up, my heart isn’t really there yet. I also notice other attitude creeping in as the trial increases…indifference, self-pity, entitlement. Our attitudes are tell-tale signs of whether we have come to the point of true surrender or not. It may just be a “digging in of the heels.”
You see, Satan wants us to think we’ve given up.
He lies to us. Here are just a few examples:
- You deserve better than this. You’re done!
- No one sees how hard you’re trying. That’s it!
- God has given you something that’s just impossible. He owes you one!
- God doesn’t care that you’re hurting. You’re at the end of your rope!
- God must be angry with you because, if He wasn’t disappointed, He’d help you. You’ve exhausted His help!
We could go on, couldn’t we? These are just a few thoughts I’ve been tempted to think over the past several days. Some of the lies I’ve mulled over in my heart and mind. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t say these things out loud. No good pastor’s wife would. I probably don’t even allow them to the forefront of my mind. As pressure builds, they come more frequently and unless I dismiss them, they take over.
Here’s something I’m learning. Sometimes, lies can seem to us as better companions than truth but they are not. Lies never strengthen you. Lies break you. And they come from the Father of lies!
He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44
Make no mistake, Satan wants you to become bitter, indifferent, desponded and in this place say, “I give up!”…but don’t stop there!
After a while of pouting and tantrums (in my heart of course, where no one can see) God let me feel my utter weakness. He was right, I cannot do this without Him. It was then that I could truly see I didn’t have any strength left for the trial at hand. I confessed it and literally gave up and gave it over to Him. Meanwhile, I confessed all the other attitudes crowding my heart.
When I sat down to meet with God in my usual place this morning, I came with a contrite heart, only half-expecting to hear from God because of my poor attitude over the past several days.
I prayed the words of confession from Psalm 51 first spoken by King David:
1Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
3For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
It.Felt.Good.To.Confess.
There was nothing left to hide. My heart was laid open before the Lord.
I asked the Lord to speak to me.
What would He do? How would He respond?
I opened my devotion book and the scripture passage given for today was Ephesians 6:10-20
I turned there in my Bible and the first words I read were, Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.
I immediately thought about how exhausted I had become trying to do what God had called me to in my own strength.
I whispered a response to what I read, “So, God, I don’t have to rely on my own strength? That’s great because I have none left!”
I read on,
V11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
It was as if He was saying, “My child, you have not been putting on the ‘whole armor of God.’ You’ve been too busy handling things on your own. You’ve been skimping on sitting before Me and there renewing your strength. This difficult trial you are enduring is not a battle of flesh and blood. v12 We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Re-train your focus on where the battle really lies. You can’t fight this kind of battle. Not in human strength. But I will fight for you. Put on your armor. Stand in My strength.”
God calls us to G0d-sized challenges, to be met with God-sized power. All that He does and invites us into will end in victory. We need only to stand armored in His strength.
Isaiah 40:28-31
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Friend, is it time to REALLY give up? Are you ready to surrender? I’m overwhelmed with joy and thanksgiving to tell you that God has replaced my anxiety, bitterness, and weakness with His great, everlasting strength. I feel His peace, mercy, and love.
I don’t like sharing with you that I struggle sometimes. But what I do love is sharing about the strength of my Everlasting God. Are you in need of His help today? Run to Him. Fall at His feet. He will meet you there with all Strength and Power and Love.
