Tammy On Tuesday ~ “The Real”

PINIMAGEHow do you wake up in a place of paradise like Marquette Michigan in a really bad mood? I mean our days have been filled with beauty, laughter, memory making…all the ingredients for a great vacation. So, how can I be feeling so grumpy?

PINIMAGEAs the light came through the window, I felt the irritation filling me all the way up to my eyeballs. In my frustration with seemly everything, I was even frustrated with my ugly self. I knew my attitude stunk but it didn’t seem an easy thing to shake.

What was ailing me?

I needed to get to the bottom of it and get in the Word, but it would have to wait until I landed at the “Loads of Fun” Laundromat. Even that name irritated me…who calls doing laundry loads of fun? Is this some kind of practical joke?

PINIMAGEPINIMAGEI plopped my things down at a table and began sorting my laundry. My older two helped but they stayed quiet, not wanting to disturb the grumbling bear.

I stood their sorting whites, colors, and darks asking myself, “What’s your deal?

“While you’re busy being grumpy, you’re failing in the parenting department. If you don’t want your kids to feel they have the license to walk around grumpy stop being the poster child.”

While thoughts scrambled in my mind, bumping into each other, I looked up and saw the televisions on the wall, which I, just at that point, realized were turned up way too much for anyone’s comfort. And a talkshow…

It was called “The Real.”

This started another thought going in my mind…Is anything the world pitches to us “Real”. Do they think a show called, “The Real” could even be remotely so?

We live in a world that says, “Real is what you want it to be.” If it’s real to you, it’s real.

Let’s look at the definition for “real” – actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed.

If the show is going to promote society’s latest and greatest opinions, they might need to re-think the name.

This morning, on the way into town, we hit better cell service and I read a Facebook post from a friend of mine from college.

He said,
We live in a world that empowers us to rationalize just about anything. Some claim we are a more evolved or enlightened culture, as we accept as good that which was once forbidden. I wonder if Eve felt this way when she took the bite of the fruit. Or Judas, when 30 pieces of silver fell into his outstretched hand.

To forsake what we know as true and just, and to assign good to what is evil, is to forsake our greatest of loves – our love of God and our love for each other. Yes. If we truly love…and I’m not talking Hallmark Card love, but that deep, authentic love, the kind you find in the eyes of a new mother when she looks at her child, or in his tears as he clutches the hands of his terminally ill best friend whose cancer ridden body is still fighting for its life. Yes. That kind of love, the kind we would all claim to possess. And if we claim to have such love, yet turn a blind eye to the truth, than it never was love in the first place. Call it whatever you want. But it isn’t love. And it never was.

He talked about being in his forties and struggling with emotional scars from being bullied as a child. Several encounters left indelible marks on his heart and he has, at just this point in his life, with much counseling begun to find healing from all of it. Bullying caused him to seek to be the guy everyone loved. And, you know what, in college, he was one of the most lovable guys. Funny, warm. To know him was to love him.

After years and years of applying this “people-pleasing” ointment to his heart wounds, he found it still festering.

He continued…
Three decades later, during the 18 months I spent in therapy, I learned I not only possessed a great desire to be liked, but so much so I would often place myself at far too great of risks, allowing myself to become a victim of emotional abuse. As my therapist walked with me through the darkness of the bullying from my childhood, and then onto certain events in my adult life, the light eventually shined brightly on the part I played in the story. I spent hours and days chronicling moment after moment, and would read them to a counselor who more than earned her fee. Maybe the most enlightening moment of all, was not only coming to grips with what happened to me, but understanding of my own devaluing of the truth’s in my life. And when I finally accepted all of the truth, new things happened…good things happened.

John 8:32 – “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

Truth. Truth is what’s real.

And by the way friend, “Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, and the life.”

No tv show will tell you what’s real…what’s true. But Jesus who IS Truth, will always tell you the truth.

And speaking of truth, it, in fact, HE was the only one I could go to to figure out my own junk this morning.

I’m going to be transparent here and tell you what I discovered as I spent time in God’s Word and reflection. It’s surprising and even humbling. I told you last blog post that I’m reading a book on vacation by Jen Wilkin called None Like Him. It’s ministered to me in so many ways while I’ve been here, I decided to Google her.

I honestly hadn’t heard of her before so I was curious to know more about her. Her writings had encouraged me so!  I found out she’s written quite a few books. I wondered if she was a 30-something, deeply gifted-scholar who wowed people with her spiritual depth at such a young age.

What I found was she’s right around my age (2 years older than me). Then it started…

What a great writer!…
She’s written all these books…

I’ve never written a book.

But

I bet she doesn’t spend her whole vacation eating ice-cream almost every day, over-eating and gaining weight.
I bet she’s disciplined. She probably doesn’t even eat junk food.
I bet she doesn’t sleep in until 8:30 or 9 in the morning, but gets up before everyone else.
I bet she doesn’t skimp on her prayer time and Bible reading and excuse it because she’s on vacation. The opposite is probably true.
 She probably gets really inspired with great book ideas while she’s away.
I bet she doesn’t wonder if one of the kids was left at the last location or jumped in another car.
I bet she doesn’t stay in the same clothes for days on end.
I bet she looks in the mirror and brushes her hair before leaving for the day when she’s away.
I bet she doesn’t act like a grumpy bear when she has tons of reasons to be thankful.
If I was really serious about my walk with God, would’t I have a book written by now?

I hadn’t realized it but my comparison of myself to her, stole ALL MY JOY.

Then it hit me…a big dose of truth. The truth that poured over me like a healing balm…

Guess what? I’m not Jen Wilkin. I’m Tammy Lashey. And if I waste a minute trying to be Jen, I lose that minute being who God is asking me to be…myself.

If I waste a minute trying to be someone else, I lose that minute being who God is asking me to be…myself.

The point is not that I wanted to be like Jen. It’s that I was allowing myself to believe that since I wasn’t like her I was failing.

Ephesians 2:10 says, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

God created me with unique purposes He planned long ago. When my eyes fall from gazing on Him and ALL HE HAS DONE, to anyone or anything less, I’ve gotten off track and I begin believing a lie.

God met me in a special way this morning, giving me the gift of freedom of the trap of comparison. I didn’t know those feelings were even in there. But when I woke grumpy and asked God to help me, He did.

God’s Word speaks to corners of our heart we don’t even know how to access or what’s on the other side of the door. He ministers to us there. He is such a loving Pursuer of us. Even though He knows that behind most doors are wickedness and sin, He opens the door, cleans the room and sets us free!

In 1 Timothy 1:15-16 Paul says, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. 16 But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.

Paul says, “Hey, you can trust what I’m getting ready to say. It’s TRUST WORTHY (to be relied on as honest and truthful). You can accept it.”

He goes on to say basically, Christ came to save us sinners and I’m the worst.

Friend, I’m a sinner, a mess, wrecked without remedy.  I needed a Savior. I believed on Jesus and He set me free. He continues to set me free each day – free from sin and free to be who I am meant to be in Him.

If we approach each day in light of the Gospel and in light of God’s mercy we can really live.

That’s “The Real”. That’s the truth.

Friend, what truth do you need to embrace today?  Let it set you free!