PINIMAGEA lesson I continue to learn is how to parent with authenticity and the grace of God. Today I share a blog post I wrote on Easter four years ago. I think of all that has changed and how my kids have grown. I had no idea of some of the ups and downs I would encounter since. Growing One thing remains, God is faithful and He gives us grace in time of need!
Parenting. It’s one of the hardest jobs known to man. I love my kids. I want to invest in them. I realize that there’s a reason we are told to “nurture” our children. I think we all realize it. We say to ourselves (and rarely out loud), if this child is to know right and wrong, good and evil – if they are going to know the truth, it’s up to me to show them. So, I make my best effort to pour into them goodness and truth.
One thing that has become clear to me is that this “pouring in” is not just in the words I say to them. They are watching how I live my life: how I react to stressors, how I show love, how I give of myself, how I spend my time, what I dedicate myself to, and, most importantly, how I relate to God. This is also a “pouring in” to their lives and probably with much greater effect.
I have a consuming desire for my children to grow to have their own personal walk with God. So you can imagine how I feel when I completely blow it as a parent.
PINIMAGEEaster 2012
We woke up early on this beautiful Easter Sunday morning. So much to be thankful for! You could almost hear the melodious movie score rising with the sun on the horizon…except for the fact that I had put myself under a good amount of stress with all I had planned to accomplish before we headed out to church. Easter was going to be a big day of events for us at LifeHouse Church and I had a lot to do before leaving the house.
Mark always leaves about an hour before I do on Sundays to set up. So I was left to accomplish all of the things on my mental to-do list alone: curl the girls’ hair, make my dish for Easter dinner, get myself ready, get the kids dressed in their Easter outfits, the list goes on.
Things got a little crazy. Sophie wasn’t loving the hairstyle I was creating for her. Hudson was in slow motion all morning. Abby was put in charge of the new puppy we recently welcomed into our home and she came up MIA half the time while the puppy roamed looking for adventure. Of course, the result was that I found the dog chewing on shoes in my bedroom. And, there’s no better way to put it except…I began to lose it.
With all my good intentions and desires, in this moment of weakness, I resorted to barking my orders through clenched teeth. Those of you who have this same weakness know what I’m talking about. It’s accompanied by the crazed look in the eye and often a slight twitching. When this begins to happen my kids know I’m going over the edge.
Needless to say, I was not proud of my actions on Sunday morning. Our melodious movie score turned to the shrill Psycho theme with the volume set at 10! Once the dog was safely in her crate and everyone was in the car in one piece, I sighed and thought of how terribly I failed as a parent that morning. And on Easter? What a day to blow it! I admitted my poor behavior and apologized to the kids for speaking in anger. Mom blew it and it was not okay but it could be forgiven. Together, we prayed that God would help us to turn from our wrong doing, across the board, and help us to have a better day.
What’s my point? When I fail at my job as mom and “pointer to God and all things true” (an official name I give myself), it’s easy to become discouraged and worry that my kids could grow up to become convicted felons. (Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme.) I have found that often I place too much emphasis on all my good efforts to mold and shape their hearts and not enough confidence that God is doing His work.
I’m beginning to realize that God is at work, NOT BECAUSE OF ME, but often in spite of me. As I align my desires with what pleases God, I realize I don’t have to beg God to be at work in the lives of my children. I simply need to agree with Him in His work and look for ways to reinforce His truth as a mom.
I have been going through the Bible study “Experiencing God” over the past month and I came across a box in the middle of the workbook page that was entitled, Things Only God Can Do. Immediately, God began to encourage me that this same box can be applied to the lives of my children.
“Things Only God Can Do”
Only God can draw people (my children) to Himself.
Only God can cause people (my children) to seek Him.
Only God reveals spiritual truth (to my children).
Only God convicts the world (my children) of guilt about sin.
Only God convicts the world (my children) of righteousness.
Only God convicts the world (my children) of judgment.
I’m a mom. That’s my role. I have a wonderful opportunity to invest in my children as a mom. And sometimes that means confessing to them when I blow it and seeking forgiveness.
I’m not God. I must trust God to be God in their lives. He is doing what He does best. He will continue His work as He encourages me in mine.
Have you tried to do God’s work in the lives of your children? Do you put a greater emphasis on your role than His in molding and shaping them?
Here’s my pep talk for the day:
- Do your best and when you fail admit it.
- Pray without Ceasing. I mean that literally.
- Let God be God and watch Him work.
We can count on the fact that God loves our children with a perfect and everlasting love. As we commit our children to God and point them to Him, He will fulfill His purpose in their lives. I promise if you set things in the right order, you’ll be amazed at the freedom you’ll find and you may eventually leave the teeth clenching behind.
