Tammy On Tuesday ~ Insufficiency

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But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  2 Corinthians 4:7

You’ve seen them before…the Pinterest fails. Photography fails.  Baking fails.  They often make me laugh…Maybe because in a lot of ways, I can relate.PINIMAGE

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Falling way short of the goal.

Inadequacy. I’ve felt it lately in a big way.

I leave for Alaska on Thursday of this week to speak at a ladies retreat on Friday and Saturday. Such a wonderful opportunity! I’ve set aside the past several days for final preparations. I envisioned getting alone, spending time reviewing and revising my notes, praying for the trip, preparing my media for the three sessions I will share.

Sunday, the school district decided it was best not to open the school for us to have church due to the extreme temperatures and snow and ice.  I decided, since I’d be home all day, I could use the extra time for more preparation.  But there was a catch…in my planning, I wasn’t expecting to have kids at home around the clock. I wasn’t expecting to have to stop what I’m doing to break up an argument or make lunch or pick up the living room or to take a child to a friend’s house. I wasn’t expecting technical difficulty with my laptop – uninstalling and reinstalling software for hours on end while scrolling my Facebook feed to pass the time.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love a snow day.  My children weren’t an inconvenience.  I enjoy having them home and taking time to do things with them.   It’s just that I’d also find myself sitting on the couch for lengths of time watching Disney channel or starring in the pantry thinking of what delicacy I could concoct.  Collectively, the disruptions to my plan caused me to toss all my focus out the window.  The hours I intended to spend in prayer and Bible reading over the past two days were whittled down to almost nothing. And the worst part is that I faced none of the distractions well. I got grumpy. I felt I was failing and I was mad at myself for wasting time I could’ve have used productively.  There was work to be done!

I dropped into bed last night and told Mark, “I feel like a disappointment. If I was God, (Isn’t that a funny statement?) I would be disappointed in me. I don’t deserve God’s grace and mercy after wasting my day away like I did today. I have a blog to write in the morning. I have a retreat at the end of the week. I should’ve done better.”  In my mind, I imagined I should be sitting quietly, pondering, reflecting on the things of God and instead I was more like a referee at a dodge ball game.

I was awakened this morning by a call from the school saying, due to inclement weather school would be closed. Kids would be home. The pantry would once again be raided hourly. Messes would be made. Arguments could arise. I’d once again be tempted to bake and over eat. (What is it about snow days that makes you think you should bake cookies and cakes and eat enough for five people?) Distractions were waiting the moment I put my foot on the ground. Was I doomed for a repeat? I whispered a prayer to God. “God, I feel like the past few days were a waste. There were things I couldn’t control but there were also things I could. It’s hard for me to receive Your grace when I know I’m guilty. Please forgive me for my part in wasting time and help me today.  I need You to help me do what pleases You.” I asked God for His mercy and grace. You know what grace is don’t you? Unmerited favor. You can’t earn it.

You know what grace is don’t you? Unmerited favor.  You can’t earn it.

I needed it. I’m realizing that my situation was a perfect landscape for God to show how He redeems our situations even when we don’t deserve it.

Would you believe as I opened my devotional early this morning to read, the title was called Insufficiency. In response to my prayer, God was already at working, encouraging my heart. In this short devotion I read something that really spoke to my situation…

PINIMAGEWhatever failures we come up with, He can redeem. And that brings Him glory. That doesn’t mean we should fail intentionally, especially if that failure is sin. There is plenty of insufficiency to go around…Our independent victories are failures in His eyes, while our failures leading to dependence are His victories…God is used to taking humility, brokenness, and even failure, and magnifying Himself in them.  Are you weak? Humble? A broken failure? Then He’s ready to work. Let Him magnify Himself in you.               In Deed, a Walk Thru the Bible publication

 In 2 Corinthians 12:9 we read, But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

James 4:10 says, Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

It’s difficult for me at times to receive God’s mercy and grace when I feel as though I can do better.  I become the hindrance to His abundant supply.

I become the hindrance to His abundant supply.

How about you today? Facing a challenging or even hopeless situation? Feeling that you are to blame? Humble yourself before The Lord. Confess your insufficiency. Call upon His mercy and grace. He is generous. He WILL redeem. That’s just who He is.  You can count on it.