Last night, a friend dropped off the new bible study book for our ladies fellowship. I was so excited. I flipped through it and admired it’s bright shiny cover. I like to keep my books in good condition. Even when I write in a workbook, I try to keep it nice so that I can refer back to it over the years. Sometimes, as a result of toting books around, they get worn and wrinkled. But if I can help it, I do my best to keep them nice.
Eager to get started in this new study, I sat down this morning and looked over at the little pile of books I usually rummage through when I’m in the midst of my quiet time – devotionals, journals, Bible helps. The new book sat right on top. I picked it up and began to read through the introduction. Good stuff. I decided I would type some notes on my iPad…but first…more coffee.
When I returned to the couch where my little tower of books sat, I lowered myself down and set my coffee on top of the tower. (I know…brilliant, right?) I pulled out my iPad and, as I was turning it on, I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. The tower was slowly falling over. I couldn’t react fast enough and before I knew it the coffee was on it’s side.
Coffee WENT EVERYWHERE…AND all over my brand new book! In fact, coffee managed to get on EVERY book in the pile before it pooled in one of the couch buttons. I could feel my heart rate rising and I jumped up trying to process thoughts of what to do next.
“Get paper towels! Get a rag! Must move.” I could barely get my wits about me.
I scrambled back to the couch with towels to clean up the mess and, as I began to pick up each book one at a time, I got to thinking .
… “It’s just coffee. I can dab up most of it and the books will dry. It’s not the end of the world.”
My new white book had a nice size coffee stain causing the bottom of the cover to ripple and the pages from front to back to swell. I set all seven books out separately to dry and I looked them over.
God used this moment to remind me of something profound.
Although coffee began to stain the pages of the books, it didn’t change their message. So it is with life…the mess I seem to pour out before God doesn’t change His response, or His character, or His Words to me.
Here’s an honest, candid confession. There are times when I feel like I cannot go before The Lord and fellowship with Him: whether it be a critical heart or a spirit of selfishness, impatience, lack of compassion, indifference. They’ve all hit me at one time or another and usually I do the healthy thing and take that feeling to God, confess it, and ask Him to change it in me.
However, there are other times, like in the past week, where I know better but don’t choose better. Perhaps its when I’m hit with many things at once. I call it a one-two sucker punch. Things hit when I’m not looking and I stumble to the mat.
It can be easy at those times to get into a “woe is me” mindset and just camp out there feeling far from God and far from people. I don’t like it. It’s like a skipping record. I want the needle to find the groove and I want to feel at peace with God and people once again. I want the music to play. But instead there’s the incessant scratching sound of the needle out of place.
At times like these, coming before the Lord feels like a big coffee spill. I spill out all of the things going on within my heart and fear it could change God’s response.
Maybe when He sees my mess, this time He’ll turn away. Maybe He will reprimand me….”Tammy, you know better. I mean, you’re a pastor’s wife!” Maybe this time, the spill will blot out the words or smear them, causing them to be illegible. Maybe when He sees the stains He’ll come to a point when He just doesn’t know what else to do with me. This mess is a big one…there’s no way to clean it up.
I mean, what do you do when the spiritual problem you’re facing is…yourself? It’s not a moral decision or a principle you’ve neglected to apply…it’s just your ugly stubborn flesh.
As I wiped the coffee from my devotion books today, God began to speak to my heart:
Just Come to Me. Always. The mess you bring doesn’t change the message I give to you. The mess you spill onto the truth of My Word doesn’t change those words. I am FOREVER faithful.
2 Timothy 2:13 says,
“If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.”
Matt 11: 28-29
28Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
1 Cor 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.”
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness
I meditated on the truths of God’s Word – His unchanging Word – and I began to feel peace. As a loving father, He quieted me. I spent several moments enjoying His faithful presence and forgiveness when another thought occurred to me.
The coffee I spilled was MY coffee. It was MY mess. I HAD to take responsibility for it since I was the only one in the room. It’s the same in life. Maybe you’re in a mess right now and you’ve been blaming other people or circumstances for it. I’ve done that plenty of times. I want to place the blame on someone or something else for the mess in my heart. But when it comes to my relationship with God…I’m the only one in the room.
And so, I wave the white flag. The mess is mine. I spilled my coffee. But His Words never change! I’m thankful for that.
Maybe you’re like me, you need to get your mess cleaned up. God is faithful and He can wash you clean.
Go to God like David did in Psalm 51:7 –
Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Now for this coffee stain…
Even now as I type I can smell the coconut mocha rising from the couch cushion to my right. But with each new day comes new blessings…today I’m really glad our couch is brown! Trust me, that’s a blessing!
Stefanie - Love it, thanks Tammy.