Well, we are six months into a church plant in Townsend, DE. There has been so much stretching and growing and learning already…it sometimes makes my head spin. Although there are always outward challenges to face and demands to be met, what is taking place inwardly is what seems most profound to me.
A couple of days ago, my husband, Mark, and I were talking about “beginnings”. It’s just hard to begin something new, especially when it’s a step of faith with a lot of unknowns. I’m learning that when God calls you to a new “beginning”, He plans for quite a bit of “on the job training.” As I struggle to be a conduit for God and not a hindrance to His work through LifeHouse Church and really every area of my life, I “recall to mind” God’s faithfulness in the “beginnings” I’ve already come through.
This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Lamentations 3:21
It’s been 11 years ago now that we began Calling Levi. I can remember what making the decision to set out in a traveling music ministry would mean. Among many other realities, it would mean Mark’s six figure income would cease to be and we would trust God week to week for our financial needs. I can honestly say, there were a lot of questions in our minds as to how we would pay our bills and how two families would survive on church love offerings alone. In fact, in the beginning we would go several weeks with out being paid. That’s why we did our best to keep our schedule full. It was not an easy job. We were a new ministry. Pastor’s hadn’t ever heard of us. We made tons of calls and asked if churches would have us in. Some took a chance on us and that was how we began to fill our dates.
I remember a church that had us in during our first year of ministry. They promoted the night saying, “You can either come to the church sanctuary to hear this group, ‘Calling Levi’ or you can board the bus in the parking lot that will be headed across town to hear a preacher speak.” It’s humbling but I’m pretty sure we had less that 50 people in attendance at the concert. Afterward, the church sent us to the youth room to have pizza with the youth group. And I’m pretty sure the cost of the pizza was taken from our love offering. We left with $99 for our two families. Times were lean…and humbling, but God always gave us what we needed.
I chuckle at it now, but in the beginning as we traveled, the four of us thought…all we need is a “big break”. Whenever an opportunity arose that seemed promising for more exposure or potential financial gain, we would all be nervously “on our toes”. I can remember a large pastor’s conferences where we sang. We thought to ourselves, “Wow, with all these pastor’s we will probably get a ton of new singing opportunities!” Once, early on, we were invited to open for Nicole C Mullen. Certainly, this would be that door to bigger opportunities. Not long after that invitation, we were asked to open for Jars Of Clay. Other invitations came. Big venues…lots of promise. We even had wealthy business men approach us and tell us that they had intentions of really investing in us and taking the financial burden from us. And guess what? Nothing ever came of any of it.
I believe God wanted it that way.
He wanted to get us to a point where we relied ONLY on Him for our provision. Not a booking, not a big break, not a church, not a man. Him alone.
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
I know now, even in this new transition to church ministry, that God will provide. No matter what. It’s freeing to know such a promise in the depths of your heart. It was a tough lesson I learned through “on the job training.”
But my lesson now is not on provision. God is moving to other areas of my heart and life that I’ve always thought were fully surrendered to Him in order to bring me to the understanding of His depth of love and power. It’s not easy place to be. Honestly, feels kind of like trying to get out of a sweater that’s too tight and three sizes too small. But imagine the feeling of freedom when His work is complete.
God, help me to work with You as You work in me. Help me not to fight against the important lessons that lead me to freedom.
Maybe you are going through some “on the job training” of your own. Tough times. Don’t ever second guess the fact that God is at work…
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13
Jennie - I always try and believe that I am exactly where God intends for me to be; OR I’m travelling the path with His intentions and what is best for me in mind – where He will ultimately lead me. Definitely “on-the-job” training daily in my life – and I’m so grateful I have Him to lean on as I journey through this it!! Thanks, Tammy!
Pamala McMorrow - Thank you Tammy for taking the time to write your blog every week. I really look forward to it, for there is always something I can relate to or a little nugget of wisdom that I hadn’t really thought of before. Thank you for letting the Lord use you in this way. It is a special gift from Him to certainly help others. God’s blessings.
Marti vanVeen - Thank you for this! Needed this soo badly! Thanks for your God Given Insight!