Black Friday…It’s named for the hope that retailers will end the year in the black instead of the red on their record books. Yet, the name seems all the more fitting to describe the mood and behavior of so many who shopped on Black Friday. 
PINIMAGEThere have been lots of stories in the news about Black Friday altercations. No doubt tensions were high and I guess I witnessed it first hand. I ventured out on Black Friday against my better judgment and happened upon an angry mother with two young children. She was giving a Starbucks employee a piece of her mind for not pouring enough coffee in her cup. She got so worked up she demanded to see the manager. The employee behind the counter looked tired and frazzled and it seemed this complaint was about to do her in.
I began to get a little angry myself, at this ridiculous display. In my mind I was thinking of how I would step in and take care of the situation. I began running through options in my head:
A. I would go over and tell the lady she was being ridiculous and making a fool of herself in front of her kids. (I believe the others waiting would have deemed me the hero of the day and applauded my efforts since, by the look on everyone’s face, we all seemed to feel the same way about this lady.)
B. I would go over and ignore the lady and talk directly to the frazzled employee. I’d stand there and tell her although her day had been long and probably thankless, I appreciated her hard work.
Or… I could go to the third option…This option is the one I call “other”. It’s the option listed just after all of my options have been exhausted.
It’s like when you are filling out a form and A or B don’t fit so there is an “other” option.
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(Notice I didn’t say “c” because in situations where the word “other” is used, it is to describe something all together different from what’s stated in “a” and “b”. )
What I’ve learned is that God works in “other”.
When faced with everyday situations, I usually have a couple of ways I think I should handle a situation and then there’s God’s way. It usually is quite different from what seems the obvious choice to me.
Let me give you an example. Several years ago my daughter, Abby, was being bullied at school. When I heard about it, my blood pressure began to rise (call it a passion for justice) and I began to think of ways I would HANDLE the situation. I would don my cape and TCB – that means Take Care of Business. I began to work through my options in my mind:
A. I would give this bully the evil eye when I saw her that would let her know I was on to her.
B. I would track down her parents and ask if they were aware that their girl is being hateful to others and offer them a book on parenting.
C. I would give Abby some good comebacks to really put this girl in her place next time she began bullying her.
Once I’d exhausted my ideas I was left with the option of “other”.
I prayed and said, “God, I know you tell us not to seek vengeance. I’m sure you also know that I don’t want to see Abby bullied in school. If you don’t think any of my options are the best way to solve the situation…then I guess I want to hear yours. What is it?”
His answer was a big resounding “OTHER” as I mentally saw it being checked in the box.
Guess what He said?
Love her.
“Love her – this hoodlum child? Love her? God, I don’t even often see her. How could I possibly show love to this girl?” Why would I ever do something like that?!?!”
Have a sleepover.
“Oh, God, that will never work. I would have to talk with her mom and I rarely see her mom at pick-up time. What if her mother is as mean as she is? Besides, what if Abby doesn’t like that idea!”
Silence.
“Okay, Lord, if you want her to come for a sleepover, there are some things to be worked out…
- Her mom will need to be there the same time I am at pick-up.
- Abby will have to be okay with this idea.
I left my concerns with God and moved forward that day with my plan.
Now, I’m not making this up. When I approached the school door for pick-up I was shocked to find the bully’s mom right in front of me. Before I could speak a word to her we both looked and saw the girls walking out together. (Here’s where it gets really crazy.) Abby pipes up and says, “Mom, we had a talk today and we decided to be friends, can we have a sleepover?!?!
Cue Tammy…It was my turn to speak. At first, I was tongue-tied, but I finally found my voice and said, “Well, since you mentioned it…” I turned to the girl’s mom and asked if it’d be okay for her daughter to sleep over.
She was a guest in our home that Friday night. While she was over, we talked to her, showed interest in her and, for lack of a better word…just “loved” on her. And guess what, Abby hasn’t been bullied since.
I know it’s a crazy story and this type of thing doesn’t happen everyday. The point I want to make is this. As you are faced with frustrating situations and frustrating people this Christmas season, know that you can always choose the option “other”. But remember, God’s option always involves love and loving others is not always our first choice.
It’s easy to say, “Let’s love each other.” Especially when things are going our way. But today’s blog is food for thought. The next time you find your feathers ruffled, (long lines, heavy traffic, rude people, change of plans), as you’re thinking of how you will “handle” the situation…consider “other”.
Thinking back to the incident at Starbucks, I actually don’t know how things turned out. While they were waiting on the manager, I was already heading out the door and on to my next “thing.” I got into my car with “options” still running through my head. As I thought, a still small voice said, “You could have tried love.” It’s true. I’ll never know what good it could’ve done. But Love always “does good”. Imagine the difference if we all would choose the option… “other”.
My Cup of Tea
Today I want to share with you something I’ve used quite a bit lately. Dry shampoo. You know how you have those days where you don’t want to wash your hair but you are afraid of how it might look at the end of the day? No body wants dirty looking hair. Dry shampoo has actually given me a day of rest with hair washing. It’s great! I apply it right to the root of my hair mostly at my crown, temple and nape of the neck. I let it dry for about 15-30 seconds and then comb through. Another great use for dry shampoo is for body and lift. There are many types of dry shampoo on the market and I’ve tried several. I noticed that TreSemme’ does as good a job as any and it’s the least expensive I have found. Those of you who comment on today’s blog will be entered into a drawing for your own TreSemme’ Dry Shampoo.
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And the winner is…Kathy Matheny!!! Chosen by random generator. Kathy, please contact us with your mailing information and we’ll get your dry shampoo right out to you! PINIMAGE
Barbara Harrington - Hi Tammy Thank You for the food for thought today so many times we need to be reminded of “other” If we try to take matters into our own hands it never works With God’s help all things are possible”) Have a great evening and Thanks again
Jennie Mason - Jennie Mason – Hi Tammy – we loved having you at our church last Sunday, and especially loved hearing your children sing! Today’s blog reminded me of what my Nana used to tell me – Honey, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar! In other words, always be kind and polite, and it doesn’t hurt to quote a favorite scripture to yourself, too…thanks for sharing!
Kim Hecksher - What an incredible story with Abby & her friend- by choosing ” other” you were far more prepared for it to all fall together. That’s good- thanks for sharing! Also- will have to try the dry shampoo myself to see if they work just as well on curly hair! xxoo
Dawn Miller - Thanks Tammy…once again – great food for thought! As a teacher, I always appreciate the parents that teach their kids to respond with love. It is so difficult when a parent teaches to fight back because then the cycle is never broken – and how do you tell a kid to NOT obey their parents when they say,”well, my mom told me to hit them back!” But your thoughts this morning really helped me to focus on myself – how many times have I “practiced what I preach”? How many times can I show love instead of using the other options I think are valid? Thanks a bunch!
Candie Baldridge - I’ve had the same thing happen to my daughter…many times! It is common for kids on the Autism spectrum to be bullied in school because they are different. I, just like you, just wanted to go in there and take care of business and have talked to her teachers about the problem. I kept saying in my head that I have to be her advocate…it’s my job to speak up for her. Then as she got older I tried to help her understand why people do what they do and tried giving her some good comebacks…I just wanted her to know how to “stick up” for herself. Truth is…none of these have worked completely and now I wish I could have said I went to the Lord about the situation. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. Every day I’m on this earth the Lord finds ways of speaking to me….either through His word or through others….today it was through you. Thank you for sharing.
Kathy Matheny - I have such long, thick hair and blow drying it everyday is so time consuming. I’ve always wondered about the Dry Shampoos, thank you for testing and recommending! Love your advice, words of wisdom and your photographs!
Dawn Wolf - Tammy, that is so true. I see people in stores and parking lots acting crazy, I take a deep breath, thank God he’s with me and I give them grace. If I don’t, I find myself starting to get frustrated too. I’ve never tried the dry shampoo I’ve been scared of it, but definitely worth giving it a try. Thanks
Lisa Kerns - Such a good reminder, I too want to “handle it”…trying hard to hear that still small voice more and more. Thanks for the encouraging words! I sometimes use baby powder…dry shampoo is definitely that better option!! I hope I win!!:)again…
Sue Sweeney - Hi Tammy, I am loving your “food for thought” in these blogs. When I think about today’s blog I think of a quote my father used to tell me when I was bullied in school. “The best way to get rid of an enemy is make them your friend.” People are thrown back when you are kind to them when they are nasty to you. It’s hard to do – but with God all things are possible. Thanks for sharing – love you!